#i saw something about a new animation director

[d8tl55c]

me: waiting for shoe(s) to drop

Personified Alan Becker YouTube Icon: oh... buddy...

[shleemies]

Dude what why did they change every single detail of this scene from what they put in the movie???? The framing is more accurate to the manga but that's about it. In what world is gojo wearing a red hoodie and not his uniform in this?

[justagirlwholikesadam]

Hard Ren

Porn Star! Kylo Ren x Fem! Reader

Summary: Hard Ren is known for not cumming during his scenes until now.

A/N: I'm biting on the bars of my enclose while i write this.

Warning: NSFW, spitting, choking, role playing, rough, happy ending, ladies we are porn stars too!

Word Count: 3.3K

Border Credit: @cafekitsune

Anyone who watches porn knows who Hard Ren is. 

Hard Ren is known to have stamina like a fucking animal. He fucks like one and he’s good at it but what he is worldly known for is he never cums when he fucks. When he does cum it’s only when he’s masturbating.

Yeah, a porn star who doesn’t cum when fucking other people. Hard Ren has done interviews about it. He jokes about it and tells them that his cock hasn’t found the right person yet. This sparks something with the female porn star community because they all want to make him cum. None of them ever succeeded. 

“Kylo.” The dark haired man looked up from his phone when his manager, Hux stopped the car. 

“We’re here.” Kylo follows Hux out of the car and into the studio to his dressing room. Kylo performs his usual preparation before filming. 200 pushup and crutches. He curls his 150 pounds dumbbells along with lifting his barbell while Hux tells him more about the person he’s going to fuck. Kylo was in the middle of a rep when he heard Hux mumbling the name of the porn star. 

“What’s her name again?” 

“She’s new, you probably haven’t heard of her but she has a fan base already. Not ugly like the last one” Hux told him while typing on his phone. 

Finishing his usual preparation and getting dressed with the clothes laid out for him, Hux walks with him to the set. Kylo was fixing the sleeves of his blue jean button down shirt. He goes into the mind set as a teacher, that was the script. He's done this multiple times, he plays the college professor and the girl plays the student looking for extra credit. 

His head shot up when he heard laughter. Director Phasma is standing next to a woman. Phasma is showing her the story board with a pleased look. When he saw you, he’s starstruck, since you were the one that he watches when he does his masturbating videos. He plays it cool, of course but the moment you give you a smile. His cock is already hard. His most viewed video of him masturbating was thanks to you. He came on his chest to the video of you on a bed with your legs spread and your cunt of full display. He liked your moans and how you pout while playing with yourself. 

“I like your work.” You tell him as Hux and Phasma speak on the set. You look up at the 6’3 dark haired man while playing with your fingers nervously. 

Excitement ran up and down your body at the sight of him. “I like yours too.” 

You smile at his words. He runs a hand through his hair with a chuckle. “Especially the one with you on the bed.” 

"There's a lot of me on the bed." You said jokingly and he laughs. "I like them all." 

You blush at his words. He had seen your work. When the camera was ready, you and him got into place. 

“Please, Professor Hard Ren. I need this extra credit. I won’t pass the semester.” You begged him as you walked towards him. Ren was leaning against the edge of the desk with his arms crossed around his chest. You played with the bottom button of his shirt

“There might be something you can do for me.” Ren said, wrapping his arm around you pulling you close to him. 

“I’ll do anything.” You whispered as he leaned down, his large hands pulling the dress up to your hips. 

“Anything?” He asks as he cups your ass, giving it a good and hard squeeze for the camera, making you moan. He pulls you close to his chest as he tugs the thong to the side. 

“Fuck.” You hear him whisper.

About to do what you do best, you start to tug on his belt. Ren leans back when he notices what you were doing. He helps you while you unzip the black slack and goes down on your knees in front of him. Your mouth drops open as you stare up at him as you pull the slacks down to his ankles. He’s in full commando, and his cock almost smacks you in the face if you haven’t caught it first. His cock was thick and pink, his fat head is begging to be licked. 

Ren groans at the sight of your little pink tongue licking his cock. He grips the edge of the desk when you spit on his cock and start to use your spit as lube to start jerking him off with both hands. He tries his best to not shut his eyes because he wants to see you. He wants to see the moment you put his fat cock inside that little mouth. 

He moans out loud when you start to suck his cock, gagging, his thick girth stretching your mouth. 

“Fuckk.” Ren moans when he starts to move his hips forward, he uses a hand to hold the back of your head. He feels his balls tighten up when he sees your eyes filling up with tears. His thighs are wet from the drool and spit. He can see the spit dripping off the corner of your mouth. 

“Yes, gonna give you a good grade. Keep sucking you teacher's cock.” He tells you as you bob your head up and down on his cock. He sees your pretty face start to turn red and he pulls you off of his cock. He grabs his cock and pats it against your cheek then trace your lips with the head of his cock. 

“Open your mouth, show me that fucking tongue.” You obey and he taps the head of his cock on your tongue. 

“You’re so fucking hot. You know that.” Ren leans down to take your arms. Helping you up, you were shocked when he cups your cheek, bringing your face up close to him. He kisses you while he gently pushes against the desk making you sit on the edge

You look at him with wide eyes when he pulls away from your lips. He takes his shoes off and removes his pants as well. For a moment you forget about the camera when he takes his shirt off. He looks so good on video but in person, this man was sculpted. You can see every beauty mark on his skin. Looking at his abs, you looked further down, passing the light happy trail, you can see a vein aiming down to his cock. It took all the strength in you to not throw yourself in the ground to lick it. His cock stood out, proud and hard. 

He gets near you, grabbing you by the chin and kisses you again. He makes you spread your legs, pushing the dress up. He lets the camera panel over at your pussy when he pushes the thong to the side. Running his thick fingers run up and down your slick slit.

You don’t even pay attention to the camera behind him. His thick fingers rub your clit making you moan as he kneels down in front of your cunt. You feel those thick fingers slide into you.

He’s a messy and fast eater when it comes to pussy, he knows it but right now. He takes his time, he sees your cunt so many times while he comes. He couldn’t believe you were right in front of him. Looking so pretty with legs spread and your pussy practically pulsing. He kisses your mound enjoying the scent of your musk. He grins at the sound of you gasp when his nose hits your clit. He presses his lips against your lips. Licking your slick, he gets hard by how good you taste. 

He grins against your cunt when moan loudly. Your moans are heavenly to him, it sounds real and not fake as the others. He feels your fingers through his hair as you gently push his face against your cunt. Ren is pumping himself as he licks your cunt, he savors your taste. He looks up when he hears you call for him. He feels his heart flip inside his ribcage when you look down at him. He whines when your hand on his hair goes down to cup his face. Ren doesn't let you speak, he quickly stands up from his knees to kiss you.

You look over his shoulder when he starts to kiss your neck. Phasma waves her hand at you, signaling you that it's fine you didn't have to say your line. You couldn’t do it even if you tried. Ren was taking control, removing your dress for you. 

“Prettiest fucking tits.” He says as he leans down to kiss your breast. You blush when he practically pulls the desk close to him so he can get near you. 

“I want to fuck you so bad.” He says as he looks at you, his hands grab a hold of your hips, spreading your legs open. 

“You can.” You told him looking up at him with a smirk, batting your eyelashes. 

“I’ll do anything for a good grade, Professor Ren.” You said as your hands grabbed his throbbing cock, slowly jerking him off, rubbing the tip of his cock with your thumb. 

“Jesus Christ.” Ren moans when you use the other hand to grasp his balls, pulling them softly. You watched as he stood still as you kept touching him, he threw his head back, you bit your bottom lip as you watched his tense up. 

“Come here.” He tells you, you gasped when he wrapped your legs around his waist. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he picks you up from the desk and walked over the couch on the other side of the office set. You hear him whisper close to your ear, he tells you to relax, he won’t drop you. 

The camera zooms on to your ass when Ren sits down on the couch, holding you tight on his lap. His big hands grasp your ass, pulling your cheeks apart showing your holes.

“Can I ride you, please?” You asked him and he grins, nodding as he leans back a bit. He smiles when he notices the excitement on your face. Quickly getting back to work, he groans as you spit on his cock, rubbing it up and down on his shaft. 

“Just like that.” He praised you when you rose up and gently sat on his cock. His eyes never left your face, he wanted to see that look on your face when his fat cock splits you open. He bites his bottom lip when he sees your face, that same face you give to the camera when your pussy is being stuffed.

He holds your hips when you start to bounce on his cock. He thrust upward making you cry out, he grins and does it again. You place a hand on his chest, making him stay in place but Ren being much bigger than you does it again making you whine. 

“Can’t take it? Huh? Can't take your professor's big cock?” Ren asks you. He chuckles when you nod, pushing yourself on his chest then sliding back down. He grabs your arms pulling into his chest as he grunts sliding further down on the couch so the camera can go under him. 

“Good girl.” He shouts as he started thrusting upward like crazy making you moan as he fucks you hard. Your ass bounces every time he thrusted up to you. Your poor pussy being stretched wide up, the camera zooms in to see Ren’s cock sliding in and out of your pussy. Your slick is running down his shaft to his balls. 

Your face is squished against his hard chest as he rams into you. He holds you down with one arm and the other, he brings it up to your face making him look up at you. 

His nose bumps with yours and you see him going in for a kiss. 

“You feel so good.” You whispered against his lips then kiss him. You moan when his hand grips your hair making you wince when he pulls it. 

He shakes his head, “No, you do.” He licks his lips as he continues with his thrusts. He hears you moan loudly, it sounds so soft exactly like the video he uses of you. 

“Rub your pussy for me.” He doesn’t wait for you to respond. You squeal when he grabs you and pushes himself up. He lifts you and drops you on your back. The camera man moves standing behind him, zooming into your face. 

Spreading your legs wide, you’re smiling at Ren as he jerks himself off. His eyes are wide as he stares at you. He gets turned on even more by how much you're enjoying yourself, looking so pretty rubbing your cunt in front of him. You bring your knees to your chest as close as you can. Your arms go under your knees and you rub your clit, giving it soft smack making you moan. 

Your fingers don't feel as good as his, you finger yourself while looking at him. He’s staring at your cunt then back at your face. You stick your tongue out at him as you give your cunt another slap making him groan. 

You’re giddy with excitement when he comes over to you, he man handles you pushing your knees further back and lowers himself. You squeal when he smacks the head of his cock on your cunt. 

“How bad do you want an A+?” He asks you, raising a brow at you. 

“Really bad, professor. I want it. Please.” You pouted at him. 

You know he does it on purpose, he just looks down at you with a smug look on his face as he slides his cock up and down your slit painfully slowly. You huff at him and grab his cock, surprising him. 

“I want that A+, sir!” You cry out pushing his cock at your entrance. You look at him with a pleading look and Ren thinks he just died and gone to heaven. 

You keep on surprising him, taking control like that, grabbing his cock like you own it. Fuck, you practically did already. All of his masturbation videos ended with him cumming so much because he was looking at your videos. Of course the viewers didn’t know that, the cameras were always aiming at him, at his lower half. 

“I’ll give you that A. Imma fucking give it to you.” You cry out when he thrusts into your cunt in one harsh thrust. Ren doesn’t pay attention to the camera under him, all he can stare is your face, your tits bouncing by his harsh thrusts. You were losing your grip under the your legs, trying your best to keep them to your chest. 

Ren wants to feel you cum, he wants you to cum on his cock. What a dream would that he thinks to himself as he brings a hand to your clit, rubbing your slick over it. He’s rough with it, making you grin as you shut your eyes with pleasure. 

“Chock me.” You cry to him as you open your eyes to stare up at him. 

“You like that?” You nod quickly as he complies to your request. Ren groans loudly when he feels you clench around him when he grabs a hold of your neck, he can feel your heartbeat and it just makes him goes faster. 

“Oh-h-h fuck! Shit!” Ren shouts he holds the couch with one hand as he goes balls deep in you. He feels you holding his arm, his grip around your neck tighten and he throws his head back when he feels you cum. 

You are crying his name and that was it for him. It broke him completely. 

“Can-can I cum in you?” He shouts as he looks back at you. You’re staring up at him with teary eyes still feeling the hard orgasm you just had. 

“Yes.” You said meekly, he removes his hand from your neck and holds your chin. Keeping your head in place, staring up at him as he thrust into your sloppy pussy. 

In the corner of your eye, you see the director and the crew staring at both of you with wide eyes as Ren groans loudly. You can’t help but whine when he does one last harsh thrust. He moves the couch and he keeps you in place as he fills your womb with his hot milky cum. 

“F-fuck.” Ren moans as he releases your chin and slouches a bit. He cups your face as he tries to catch his breath. His thumb runs over your bottom lip and you do something that you have been craving to do since you saw his hands. Grabbing a hold of his wrist you stick his thumb in your mouth, sucking it as you stare up at him. 

He feels his knees go weak and he pulls away and sits down next to you with a grunt. He has his head throw back over the couch as he sits there, with his limp cock. 

Ren hears the camera man tell you to keep your knees to your chest. Phasma praises you and he opens his eyes to see you. You’re playing with his cum, rubbing his cum all over your cunt and mound. 

“Fuck yeah.” A crew member whispers when you scoop Ren’s cum dripping from your fucked hole up to your lips. You made a moaning sound as you tasted it, licking your lips seductively as the camera pans over to your face.

You walk out of the shower, thanking god that Phasma was a saint when it came to her workers. She had a shower installed in the dressing rooms. You really didn’t want to go home with cum dripping out of you. Your manager had applaud to you and said Hard Ren just came because of you. 

Feeling amazing after the hot shower, you got dressed with the extra clothes your manager packed for you. Fixing your hair, you grabbed your phone, looking at the recent messages from your manager. You frowned because she had sent you a message saying that she was waiting for you in the parking lot then a few seconds later. She sent you a message saying there’s a surprise for you in the parking lot. 

You didn’t think much of it. You were still tired from having sex and you were starving. You just thought she was being like this because of the accomplishment you just did.

You walked to the exit still thinking about him, Ren. He was just as handsome in his videos and his cock was something to die for. You were feeling pretty good for making him cum. He looked so fucking hot cumming. 

Pushing the door open you walked to the parking lot and frowned when you saw your manager wasn’t there. 

“Hey.” You looked over your shoulder and saw Ren leaning against the building with a cigarette in his mouth. He’s wearing different clothes as well, dark jeans with boots and a graphic tee. He had a leather jacket on and his hair was damp. 

“Hi.” You answered back and he gave you a soft smile. 

“You hungry?” He asks, throwing the cigarette on the ground after blowing a puff of smoke. 

“Starving.” You tell him as he walks towards you. He bites his bottom lip and for a moment he looks a bit shy. 

“Me too. I know a place. Wanna come with me?” You nod at him and give him a smile. You start walking with him out of the parking lot when he tells you his first name, Kylo. 

[mywritingonlyfans]

Rapture. // Cillian Murphy X Reader. (Smut!)

prompt: You're younger, and love partnered with Cillian in filming a movie. He's developed certain feelings for you and finding himself struggling with them recently, until things get worse with the idea of a sex scene being added to the script. (age gap, wax play and some other sex stuff)

words: 4,3K.

He had received the script update that morning, and as he saw your eyes shift away from him during casual conversations before rehearsals, he knew you had read the new scenes. Both of you were aware of the possibility of that much-discussed sex scene that the director was considering adding. However, neither of you had imagined how it would play out, and the thought of being partially undressed in front of each other felt somewhat odd. Still, Cillian couldn't help but envision the words he had read earlier that morning coming to life in just a few weeks' time.

Now, you were sitting across from him, wearing a loose blouse and comfortable shorts, with your legs crossed. Your fingers tapped lightly on the script as you read your lines. As the others left the room, he realized that your nervousness wasn't about needing to rehearse in a few minutes, but about him being there. Cillian had initially dismissed his thoughts about you, attributing them to the recent divorce he was going through. However, he soon realized that these feelings were more than just passing thoughts.

He had already developed a pure and genuine admiration for you. He found himself lost in daydreams of conversations you could have, where he could rest your head on his chest and kiss your forehead, assuring you that everything was alright. Just as he found himself reliving the moments when you would get excited and talkative about the books you were reading after he mentioned that he had already read them. Each time you passionately shared your thoughts and enthusiasm for the stories, he couldn't help but be captivated by your animated expressions. The way your eyes would light up, the gestures you made, and the genuine joy in your voice made him smile, even long after the conversations had ended.

Yet, your expressions, your smiles, and your worries were too precious for him, but he reminded himself daily that such feelings were wrong, even though he couldn't stop them from growing.

What used to be harmless had taken a different turn after those new scenes were added to your interactions. Reading the scene had been somewhat painful, but seeing you there in person made it even more overwhelming (though not necessarily bad). The room was small, with scented candles around, something the director believed would help the actors feel at ease, though that wasn't the result Cillian was experiencing. He was practically lying in front of you, trying to make himself comfortable, avoiding looking into your eyes, though he hadn't noticed that his hands were sweaty and his breathing was heavier.

Still, he mustered the courage to gaze at you for a brief moment, trying to keep his thoughts from spiraling. "You've read it, haven't you? How do you feel?" Your nervous laughter was adorable, and your hands tightened around the script, making him notice how delicate and smaller they were compared to his own. "Yeah, I read it," your voice sounded weak, and he waited for your prolonged sigh before you continued. "I've never done something like this before, not even in theater." His face turned red, and he tried to comfort you with just a look. Touching you at this moment felt like a terrible idea, but he still did it, sitting next to you, making sure his shoulder touched yours. Contrary to what he thought, you seemed to relax at the contact, appearing more relieved. "It must be strange having to do this scene with me, given that I have no experience. Sometimes I feel like I'm not bringing positive results to your work." He immediately shook his head, hating it when you belittled yourself. You were incredibly talented.

Still, he lingered on those words. How inexperienced were you really? He had to control himself not to sound breathless as he continued, "You actually make it more enjoyable, and it'll be fine. If you agree, we can go through the lines before filming the scene. And if there's anything I can do to make you feel more at ease with this or anything else, I'll be right here." You turned to him, your angelic face now less worried, and nodded, unsure of what to say. There was a comfortable silence, and Cillian found himself smiling with closed eyes. Stopping these thoughts might be better, but they were inevitable. All he could do was wait and deal with it when the time came, even if there were more scenes after this, as well as marketing and interviews after all the filming...

...

He woke up feeling hot, drops of sweat on his temples and his chest damp. His mouth was dry, and his mind was still on your slightly parted lips, imagining how they would grow wetter as you felt him on your skin the previous night. He felt tight in his shorts, and your scent near him caused a pounding in his head. You were peacefully asleep as if you had never given yourself to him, as if you hadn't suggested adding more intensity to your lovemaking after exhausting all your muscles and neurons together. He hugged your body tighter, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you closer against him. You snuggled into him, and he brushed your hair away from your face and neck, kissing the spot with caution, yet urgency, until you slowly woke up and reciprocated. Your touch was delicate and gentle, just as he had fantasized before, and it fed his mind entirely.

And you felt like you could still taste yourself on him as he intensified the kisses, and your control was slipping away with each firm squeeze he gave your hips and how solidly hard he was against you. Cillian was aware that you enjoyed it—the marks left, the momentary pain when he bit your thigh, and the darker hues that you hid the next day from the intense way he kissed your breasts while you rode him. Your serene eyes and slightly parted lips showed calm facial expressions, and you found yourself surrendering to him fully. Despite no apparent reason except him being older than you, and even though it might be considered inappropriate, he found himself enjoying the thought while your features became even more devoted.

He unbuttoned your last buttons, leaving his hands free to explore every inch of you, and smiled at your soft moan when his fingers touched the marks under your breast. He kissed the spot, running his tongue over the sensitive skin, and grunted at your soft whimper. Your head was buried deep in the pillow, and Cillian didn't hesitate to position himself so he had a full view of you.

"I have an idea, I think you'll like it," he whispered, out of breath, and you chuckled in response. The room was still dark, far from dawn, and the only illumination came from the scented candles you kept on the nightstand to create a soothing sleeping environment. He had them well-reserved in his mind at the moment.

"Can I hear it first, sir?" you asked curiously, completely surrendering to this. Cillian loved how you trusted him without even needing to hesitate, even though there was no apparent reason to trust him other than him being older than you, and even though it might be considered inappropriate. He found himself enjoying that thought as your features became even more devoted. He nodded and unbuttoned your last buttons, leaving his hands free to explore every inch of you, smiling at your soft moan when his fingers touched the marks under your breast. He kissed the spot, running his tongue over the sensitive skin, and grunted at your soft whimper. Your head was buried deep in the pillow, and Cillian didn't hesitate to position himself so he had a full view of you.

"I'll try it, and you'll tell me if it's not okay, alright?" You were a bit whiny and clearly still sensitive from the previous hours, and he loved that. Your gaze was satisfied, and your muscles visibly relaxed; he loved the effect he had on you. You nodded, "I'm okay, Cill." Your hands went to his hair as he moved to your collarbone, showering it with kisses, bites, sucks, and eventually, firm grips. He could taste the flavor of your moans and cries on the tip of his tongue.

 Something about it felt so real it burned in him. The recorded scene of the film was recurrent and he was there confirming the perfection of what he had seen before.

He enjoyed the way you let him do whatever he wanted with you, how it consumed his mind and forced him to maintain control, not to go too far with you. The knowledge that no one had touched you before, tasted you, or marked you in such an intense way only heightened everything further. His teeth chattered, and his knees felt weak at what was to come.

Pulling away, he gracefully tugged on your hair, and his chest was filled with your half-closed, half-tired gaze that seemed to pierce him. He rubbed against the sheets beneath him, feeling sore just from the thought alone, and you chuckled sweetly. His head swirled, and he leaned over and grasped the candle holder, his fingertips briefly turning red from the heat. You paid more attention, adjusting yourself on the pillow, but he disapproved, "You don't need to do that; I want you to relax like before, princess. Just focus on emptying your mind, lie down and be cute."

You did nothing but nod and return to your previous position, but this time letting your body go limp wasn't so easy. You could feel how wet you were from the mere thought of what had already corrupted your mind. Still between your legs, Cillian caressed the inside of your thigh, and you realized you had closed them; your mind was cluttered and hard to control. You spread them apart, leaving no room for ambiguity, making it clear that you didn't want him to hold back with whatever this was. He positioned himself better between you, allowing you to feel how heavy he was even with layers of fabric between you—his shorts and your panties. You could swear you already had a wet spot in yours. Your chest was desperate, rising up and falling down slowly, and Cillian couldn't look at you without wiping the satisfied smile off his face. 

He raised the candle holder, and you could feel the heat on your breasts, your nipples excited by the sensation. The flicker of the fire was reflected in his eyes, and your lips pressed firmly together. You stifled a whimper, but couldn't hold back the whining when the wax dripped onto your sensitive skin that had already been exhausted by him. "I want to hear you, don't hold back," his high-pitched voice with a serious expression, his lines well-defined from how focused he was, left you dazed, and you needed to grind against him strongly, causing both of you to grunt and release the air from your lungs. He was happy with this, happy that you were desperate and that he was causing you some pain.

Cillian lifted the candle again and watched the droplets of wax fall onto you, tracing a line from the center of your breasts to your lower belly. Compared to his, your face was angelic with each movement, the soft moans leaving your expression even more inviting as you felt small in front of him. Your stomach clenched, and your face displayed a mixture of pain along with soft, adorable moans that made him want to explode. His hands trembled, and he had to focus hard not to finish right then and there and be done with it.

"Fuck, pumpkin, you look so good," and you enjoyed how seeing you like this had that effect on him. Your eyes closed, and everything felt intensified; your hips involuntarily spasmed against his, but it was a futile act. He audibly laughed from time to time, sweet and mature yet perverse, as if to make it clear how satisfying this was for him, and it left you completely dizzy and longing for more. He peeled off some hardened wax from your skin, admiring the marks it had left, and after massaging the area for a while he allowed the liquid to accumulate as it burned, running his tongue over the area and sucking the skin to him.

Your nails dug into his shoulder with enough force to leave crescent moons, and he let go, his teeth clearly imprinted on your skin, your fervor only making him more determined. He ran his thumb over the spot that would later be darkened and poured the excess of wax into you. Your legs tightened around him, and your hands grasped the sheets, tears welling up in your eyes, and your whimpering was soft but pleading, not exactly knowing what plea was being conveyed through it all. "Fuck, Cill, fuck, fuck," you tried hard for some relief. He halted his movements, forcing your legs to stop and holding your arms down to the mattress. He was delicate yet firm, just as you needed. You had a safe word; he knew you were okay, you were just trying to get his attention.

The holder, with the candle still burning, was now beside the sheets next to you. "Look at me, babygirl." You swallowed hard, tears streaming down the sides of your face. "Let's be good and not knock over the candle," he said firmly and clearly, and you nodded in pure eagerness, watching his well-defined and prominent muscles due to the force with which he was holding you. He kissed your face, wiping away the salty dampness, then moved to your mouth, which you wisely captured in a somewhat desperate act. He pulled away slowly, a thin trail of saliva connecting you both and slowly fading away.

He chuckled, and with no more, held your jaw and used his thumb to make you open your lips for him, sealing them with his, and soon you felt the buildup in you, and with a fuller sigh, you swallowed his breath over the messy kisses, feeling somewhat comforted. He caressed your cheek with his fingers, studying you, and you stuck your teeth into them, still trying not to move too much and be good. It was obvious you were struggling with this task. "It's good, Cill, I don't mind." He continued with more kisses and wet bites on your body, tightly gripping the open bars of your shirt with a gentle yet firm grip, almost causing your back to lift slightly off the mattress in need of him. It wasn't hard to tell you were younger, just looking at your genuine eyes was enough, and the reminder of that, that it was wrong in a way, made him want more of it all.

"Stay still, or we won't get anywhere, pumpkin," he said, and indeed you had forgotten about the candle by your side. You couldn't and wouldn't let it fall. He still sensed your scent so prominently on you, a lingering blend of sweat from the night before. Dry droplets adorned your panties, and a damp spot in the center was visibly apparent; it was adorable in his eyes. He kissed the area, gently brushing his nose against it, and you let out a graceful sigh. And once again, he found himself immersed in the feeling of having you like this, a sensation that was exclusively his. No one else had the privilege.

Unable to hold back any longer, Cillian pushed the thin fabric down and traced his tongue through you. He was familiar with it, but each time he tasted you, it fueled him with more energy. He didn't need to go too deep; you were already sticky enough, and yet clearly sensitive, a delightful mess nonetheless. Cillian pushed your swollen lips up, reaching your intended spot, and he licked it avidly. You gasped, your fists clenching the sheets. He blew on the spot and sucked on it for his own pure pleasure; he loved how the smell and taste lingered vividly in his mind afterward. However, he knew neither of you could last much longer in this way, and it wasn't how he wanted to end things.

He tightened his fingers on your thighs, using more of you, already feeling his chin and cheeks sticky from you. Reluctantly, he withdrew, mesmerized by how your essence still overflowed his mouth as he swallowed deeply, seeking oxygen. Your whimpering turned more pleading and disapproving, and he understood; he felt the same way, sore and neglected, begging for any hint of relief.

"I'm being good, Cill." Your eyes were wide open as you pleaded your case. He nodded, wiping the corners of his mouth with his fingers and still licking them to avoid any waste. It only quickened your breathing, and he felt a twinge of pity.

"You are, babygirl, you're being wonderful." He massaged his fingertips into you, spreading the burning sensation. You wouldn't be able to stay still even if you wanted to.

"You're okay, right?" he asked, pushing his fingers in slowly and deftly to fill you, watching your eyes squeeze shut tightly and your back arching a little.

"I am. I'd tell you if I weren't," you sounded weak, with sweat glistening on your forehead. It wasn't a very convincing vision, but Cillian trusted that you'd speak up if something was wrong. He moved his fingers until you got accustomed to the feeling and relaxed, making sure you wouldn't have any trouble taking him after. But you were so wet that he knew you could handle him easily even without much stretching. He made a mental note to try that later.

He pulled his fingers away, his hand sticky and wet from the excess that had dribbled, his mind taken by you, all the positions, and possibilities.

"No waste, remember?" You recalled something he had told you. Soon, your hands were around his wrist, and he didn't hesitate to let you take his fingers into your mouth, enveloping them and sucking on your sweet flavor, your eyes closing as he savored the sensation only he could describe. Your touch of sweetness and genuineness taking him over completely.

"Enough," he declared, pulling them away from you, leaving you with sad, pleading eyes. You could easily be death of him if you wanted.

You felt a bit hazy, things moving fast but still light, and surprisingly comforting after just waking up. You couldn't say when or how, but as you shifted slightly in bed and your eyes met his, he had already managed to shed his shorts. He was pulsating; he wouldn't last much longer, and you could tell he had held back for quite some time until then.

"I love how you look," he chuckled, smugness evident. His cheeks and the tip of his nose were flushed from the stress. His hair, with some strands of gray, fell over his face, and before you could brush it away, he held your arms again. You gasped, hesitating, and he forced your body onto the mattress, his weight and legs spreading yours apart. Lightly, he closed the gap between you, then settled inside you. As he had imagined, he slid in skillfully. Your head was thrown back, and you felt complete ecstasy just from finally having him after such a wait, even though it burned, and Cillian didn't feel much different.

His grunts were deep, and it made you even more flustered and messy for him. He rose, still dripping from your body, holding the candle holder. Even though he hadn't planned to tease since he was just as eager, he proceeded anyway. His hand rested on your waist, and without moving, he allowed you to ride him slowly with lazy thrusts to get what you wanted. You were shy, and your movements were as delicate as your body, adjusting to his as if you couldn't let him know. Soon he would be emptying himself inside you, deep, and that made him pant. In the meantime, he measured the droplets of wax over your belly and breasts, watching in awe as your body trembled from exhaustion.

Your moans were mostly breathless tones, and your mouth remained partially open. Your eyes never left him, of how his v-line joined yours as he filled you perfectly, until all the air left your lungs. He let a few drops fall on his own abdomen, grunting hoarsely at the warmth of him, and he smiled sweetly as your hips stopped their motion, and you focused solely on watching him.

Cillian paused, gently placing the candle holder back on the nightstand, and he tenderly turned you over onto your belly on the bed. You complied with grace, leaning forward to be closer to him, not holding back your affection. He cradled you, running his fingers through your hair, and his body welcomed yours against his chest. With utmost care, he joined with you, moving deep and fervently, his movements filled with passion, turning your whimpers into soft moans of pleasure.

The sight of you brought him immense joy, and he cherished the intimacy you shared. He was overwhelmed by the depth of his feelings for you, and he wanted nothing more than to fill you up warmly. He knew he had to be gentle, to ensure your comfort, and to respect your boundaries. Even more knowing you weren't used to that.

With each tender touch, he felt the connection between you both, savoring the moments of ecstasy that flowed between your bodies. He marveled at the depth of your trust in him, and he felt an overwhelming desire for more and more of you.

As he continued, he held you close, your hands seeking his to anchor you in the intensity of the experience. The room was filled with the sweet sounds of your pleasure, and he was enthralled by the way your body responded to his touch.

He adored every moment, every caress, and every gasp that escaped your lips. As your passion reached its peak, he held you tightly, ensuring you felt safe and into his arms. Your shared climax made him dizzy, leaving you both breathless and content.

Afterwards, he stroked your back, waist, and shoulders, reveling in the intimacy you had just shared. He admired the marks and traces left on your body.

"I treasure every moment with you," he whispered, his voice filled with adoration and a strong accent.

You smiled softly, feeling the warmth of him envelop you. His presence brought you comfort and peace, and you knew that you were deeply his.

With a caring touch, he wiped away the traces of passion from your lips, and you savored the lingering taste of him on your tongue.  You nestled even closer to him, and he let you, holding you tighter. You could still feel him oozing between your legs, the liquid turning cold, tingling a little from the soreness, but it felt great. You knew he would treat you like precious pearls, bathing you and leaving you clean before you went to sleep, and that was comforting.

"I'd never let a single drop go to waste," you said, your voice filled with sincerity. Your eyes are genuine and serene as you watch him, as if you really had no dimension to it. And then, you got filled into his solemn and comforting laughter at your fragile soul causing a pleasant vibration in your body.

...

His eyes opened as if breaking free from a suffocating hold, his head emerging above water, and oxygen flooding back into his lungs. Nevertheless, he remained still, feeling a warm weight on his shoulder and his pants suddenly tighter and less comfortable. Slowly, awareness seeped into his brain, and he became conscious of his surroundings. He felt a sense of worry, unable to move even if he wanted to. Gently, he brushed aside strands of hair from your face without touching your skin, observing how peacefully you rested against him, completely oblivious to his internal turmoil when it came to you.

He gazed at the ceiling, still wrapped in the comfort of your body's warmth against his own. Despite his mind being entangled with images of you, with your hand between your thighs and your cheek pressed against his shoulder, your lips slightly parted and looking so delicate and untouched, he couldn't bring himself to meet your eyes directly anymore. The once sweet thoughts now mingled with wilder and more fervent desires, a concoction of heated emotions that overwhelmed him. He felt like he wouldn't be able to endure all of it until the end. He already felt completely entangled and trapped.

As he lay there, he found himself torn between the conflicting emotions that had taken hold of him. The intensity of his feelings for you had reached a point where he couldn't contain them any longer. It was as if everything had shifted, and what was once a tender connection now burned with a passionate fire. He did desire you and that horrible way, but he had also fallen for you, and it frightened him.

The realization that he had developed such strong emotions for someone so close and yet so out of reach weighed heavily on him. He couldn't help but wonder what would happen if you ever found out, or worse, if he acted on those impulses. He wished he could go back to the simpler times, when he could bask in the innocence of your presence. But it was too late. He had crossed a threshold, and there was no turning back. The feelings were there, tangible and consuming.

On top of it all, the candles still exuded essence as they burned hot and bright before his field of vision.

[pancake-breakfast]

Sorry it took me so long to get these notes up. Between internet issues and pure busy-ness, it's been rough. But here they are! The notes from AX Day 1's Trigun Stampede panel! Now with images! (Sorry for Chilchuck's head in most of them. He's awfully tall for a half-foot.)

Trigun Stampede presented by Toho Animation, Studio Orange, and Crunchyroll

The guests for this panel were Yoshihiro Watanabe (producer at Orange) and Katsuhiro Takei (producer at Toho animation), with Steve Liu from Crunchyroll hosting. (They had a translator as well, but Watanabe promptly stole her job.)

One other thing I'm going to note before we get started is that this was Takei's first time talking about all this in front of an audience since Episode 12 aired. He kept looking out at the practically full auditorium (the panel was held in one of the ballrooms, so easily one of the biggest rooms at the venue) and seeing all the fans and cosplayers and just grinning from ear to ear. He was clearly very exited.

Introduction

They started off by playing a quick video recapping Season 1. (It really made me want to watch the show on a big screen. It looks great even on a projector!) After the video, Liu started in on the interview questions. Please don't take anything below as a direct quote unless it's in quotation marks; I'm not that fast with my notes, so I'm mostly paraphrasing and relying on my memory, either of which could include my own misinterpretation or just be flat-out wrong.

The first question was, how do you feel about the future of the series?

Watanabe said their passion (for creating more of the series) was burning within them.

Takei noted that when the show was initially announced at AX some years back, they were very nervous about it since they were remaking a well-known and well-loved title, but today, looking out at all the fans, he felt a lot more confident.

Behind the Scenes of Trigun Stampede

They then showed some concept art from the famed Trigun Bible. This included what Watanabe called "Vash's projection of Rem." Seems like they came up with this design before coming up with Vash's dark design.

They also shared some concept art of what most people assume to be spiky-haired Vash...

...but which Watanabe quickly noted is actually Vash in Episode 1. You know, when he's hanging upside-down. Takei added that Muto, the director, was a bit mischievous and had a tendency to lie to the staff about when certain designs would appear in the series. He apparently hid a handful of Easter eggs and foreshadowing (like Vash having spikier hair) throughout the series.

They also had some concept art of Knives and of Vash's wing.

They then showed some concept art for some friends all y'all might recognize if you read the manga....

...but in case you didn't, I'll identify the characters below:

Top Row: Vash the Stampede, Millions Knives, Meryl Stryfe, Roberto Deniro (the blank one), Legato Bluesummers

Bottom Row: Monev the Gale, Dominique the Cyclops, Leonof the Puppet-Master, E.G. the Mine, Nicholas the Punisher, Midvalley the Hornfreak, Hoppered the Gauntlet, Rai-Dei the Blade (his name doesn't actually look like Rai-Dei here, though, so they may be calling him something different or they may just be subbing in kanji; it's too small for me to tell), Grey the Ninelives, Livio the Double Fang, Zazie the Beast, Elendira the Crimsonnail

If you're sitting there thinking, "Aww, they came up with all these designs but we saw so few of them!" then I have news for you! Watanabe said we should be keeping an eye out for more of these folks in the next part.

Favorite Scenes

Next, Liu asked both of the guests about their favorite scenes, and before they got into talking about them, we were shown a video not just of the final scene, but the storyboard, the rough cut version, and the version used for dubbing, all on one screen.

Takei answered first, and he chose the scene from episode 1 where Vash goes up against Chuck Lee, a.k.a. the military policeman from July.

(The audience kept laughing at Vash's wonderfully goofy face in the storyboard.)

When asked why he loved that scene, Takei noted that everything they wanted to accomplish in Trigun Stampede was encapsulated in it. In the manga and '98, Vash is more funny and tough (although "a good-looking guy"), and here in Stampede, he's rather more wimpy (although "still a good-looking guy"). This scene is a good blend of both sides of Vash.

It also showcases a "good action scene," which he clarified by noting there aren't many anime where so much drama and emotion is centered around one bullet. Takei also noted (though it's hard to convey to you all via still images) that Muto trusted his animators to improve on the storyboards. He's not as strict as some other directors and didn't want them to feel confined to stick to it too closely, but rather wanted them to enhance what was storyboarded out as they felt was appropriate.

Which leads to Watanabe's choice for favorite scene: the one where Vash is running through his shattered memories toward Rem and finally breaks free of Knives' prison and yeets Knives himself out. (Alas, Watanabe did not, in fact, use the word "yeet.")

Watanabe said he chose this scene because he loved the details that the team added to it after the storyboarding. The storyboard just had Vash running, but they added all these subtle movements and emotion that created a much stronger impact. When the completed scene was presented in Studio Orange, all who saw it were in awe.

Upcoming Trigun Stampede Merch

First up, as many of you already know, we have the Special Edition DVD/Blu-Ray set, which is currently available via preorder on Crunchyroll.

Second up is a new Vash figure! So new they haven't finished coloring it yet, BUT they did note this will be Black Vash (a.k.a. Grape Juice Vash) from Ep. 12. Takei is particularly excited about this because he always wanted to get the Black Vash figure from back in the day, but wasn't able to, and now he's gonna be able to get his own Stampede version. This figure is actually designed by the same person who designed the Vash figures for the manga back in the day. Interestingly, after they picked him but before they met to collaborate on designs, he came up with the current design for the figure. This worked out exceedingly well, since the design Orange wanted for the figure was basically the same thing.

Also, this Vash figure will soon have a Wolfwood companion figure. Because you can't have just one of them. The Wolfwood figure is still being designed, so alas, no images of it yet.

There's also been a restock of the orders for the clothes collaboration they had with SuperGroupies before, so a bunch of that stuff will be available again soon. They're also adding a new item to the lineup, and that's a black version of the Vash jacket. (I checked their website and it looks like they might also be adding a Livio EoM jacket. Hot.)

Preview Stuff for the Next Season

Ok, first and foremost, I'm gonna note there was NO TRAILER SHOWN, so let's crush those hopes now lest they linger and lead to disappointment. What they DID show was this:

First, a preview image of the characters for the upcoming season....

TBH, the only difference I really noticed is Knives' hair seems fluffier, but new art is always nice! Also, this one looks like a win for foot, ankle, and/or hand fetishists.

Second, we got a lovely video thanks from Nightow himself!

(He said he wanted to be there, but unfortunately there wasn't a strong enough headwind for him to run to the con. And for the curious, he's wearing a Guillermo del Toro shirt.)

Nightow being a fan of Stampede and overjoyed that so many people love his story isn't new. (Wonderful, but not new.) What IS new is he drew this nice little piece of art for us all.

He said this was his first time drawing Stampede Wolfwood. He had to get them to send him 3D images of the Punisher to be able to get it right, but he enjoyed making it! He said "it felt old and new at the same time." He can't believe next year will be the series' 30th anniversary. (Congrats, OG fans. Now we can all feel old together.)

The third thing they released was this.

Given the amount of trouble I've had posting this, I'm sure plenty of you already know that the next season/final chapter is going to be called Trigun Stargaze. Liu asked Takei about this title, and Takei said something like, "I don't know what this is about. Trigun Stargaze? What's that? This is news to me." He then (after noting he had just been joking) launched into what little he could tell us about the upcoming season.

He said he can't talk about the reason for the specific title, but that manga readers can probably make some good guesses.

Trigun Stargaze will take place 2 1/2 years after Stampede. They want to keep in mind the original concept behind Stampede, that being that because the previous Trigun stories have been so amazing, what they create needs to be amazing, too. He said they're proud of what they've made so far. It went beyond your imagination. He hopes Stargaze will go beyond your imagination, too.

Cosplayer Highlight

They decided to call all the cosplayers up to the space in front of the stage next. There were SO MANY COSPLAYERS!! Foolishly, I didn't take a panorama.

Costumes included '98 and Stampede versions of Vash, Wolfwood, and Meryl, as well as a handful of Millys (Millies?), not one but TWO groups doing Barbie & Ken-styled Vash and Wolfwood (the Barbie Vashes shouted, "Hi, Barbie!" at each other when everyone went to sit back down), an old-school Legato, a Zazie, and a group fully cross-playing the characters (with Meryl and Milly being male while Vash and Wolfwood were female; they did NOT change the costumes for any of the characters).

Liu handed out prizes to a few of them (they didn't have nearly enough prizes for all of them), and then they had all the cosplayers bunch up and face the stage and the guests turn around and took a picture of everyone. (If anyone has a link to the picture anywhere, let me know and I'll add it here. No, you can't see me in it; I'm much too far over to the side.)

Guests' Closing Thoughts

They were actually running early on the panel, so Liu opened it up to any additional comments either of the guests would like to make.

Takei still seemed overwhelmed by all the cosplayers (like I said, he spent the whole panel grinning from ear to ear at the audience), and he noted he had been worried about the Stampede characters being accepted by the fans. This was his first time seeing all the cosplayers, and he said that made him "feel safe."

Watanabe said he loved looking at the "multiverse" of Trigun. It had these previous iterations, and now it has Stampede, and the fans have both adopted it and adapted it, blending the different versions together and even adding their own things, and he really appreciates that. Takei added that while they created Trigun Stampede, if in 50 or 100 years, a new Trigun series is made, that would be great.

The animation for Stargaze is in process. Watanabe said he just recently saw some of it (a clip of only a few seconds that he, of course, couldn't show us) and it blew him away.

Both Watanabe and Takei are fans of the manga and the original series, and Takei said he's really wanted this series to happen, so he hopes we all look forward to it, too.

[kimberleyjean]

The Ineffable Detective Agency Presents: What Happened in Before the Beginning?

Hello Good Omens clue hunters and detectives! I’m super excited to share what we’ve discovered in Before the Beginning. Read on if you want to see what no one else has spotted yet!

To put a long story short, something is “up” about Good Omens - Season 2 in particular. While the eagle-eyed have documented a number of odd things in Season 2 already (summarised here), I’ve never seen anyone call into question what was presented during the Before the Beginning scene. Let’s take a closer look shall we?

Remember this scroll to start the nebula? Well, guess what - it changes!

Here’s the first scroll we see on screen, I’m going to call this the “new” scroll. Note the straight edges and completely pristine look, like brand new paper:

Then suddenly, here’s what it looks like as they start up the nebula:

Whoa, that’s looking pretty old and ragged! It’s got rips, a bit of discolouration, several wavy bends running through it. That’s a significantly more worn scroll than we were just shown. Let’s show that in close up just to be sure:

Yup, that’s certainly not meant to be the same scroll!

During this scene, the old scroll is seen again during the close up of Aziraphale holding it. However, once Crowley instructs him to put it down, it’s the new scroll again. (And then at this point it disappears into hammerspace like in a cartoon, or drifts off into space, never to be seen again).

So... there's TWO scrolls?

Well, yes, but also, no. If you're wondering, “Are they both real scrolls? Are you telling me they had two on set?” the short answer is no, this was done with VFX. To explain why we know this, I’m going to hand over to our resident Art Director, @noneorother:

Hi all, @noneorother here. Sure. So it's mostly to do with the shadow inside the scroll curls and under the right hand side curl. You can see when it's the real scroll that the shadows are all orange or brown, because of sub-surface scattering:

It happens when light partially passes through a thin porous object like skin or paper. So when the scroll is new, it's real. Where they've added "scroll is old now" VFX on top of the shots, it's very well tracked, but there's no more sub-surface scattering because it's VFX, not filmed. So the shadows are now base-black inside the curl and to the right hand side of the image. This is the VFX scroll here:

They already perfectly tracked the astronomy animation into the center of the scroll, so they had all that tracking info just sitting around. It wouldn't have been very expensive to add the "old scroll" the way they did it (the cheap and dirty way).

Thanks @noneorother! So there we have it folks, the Good Omens team have intentionally designed some shots with the old-looking VFX scroll and some without. They had the assets created for the old scroll and the tracking to place it correctly, so how could they possibly make the “mistake” of adding it sometimes but not others? This wasn’t a budget thing. If it were budget related, they wouldn’t have created the old scroll VFX in the first place.

Personally, I think this discontinuity was to tell us, the dedicated rewatchers, that what we initially saw in S2 was not the whole story. There is something else at play during S2. Something that, depending on what we find, may make S3 even more enjoyable.

So, why do this? Is this scene being conveyed from different perspectives? Are we viewing different characters’ memories of the same event? If so, why would that be important? Is someone tampering with past events? Did “Before the Beginning” happen multiple times and we’ve seen a spliced together version? What do you think?

One More Question...

The other question worth asking here (which Aziraphale helpfully asks for us) is “which way up” does the scroll go? Look closely at the central rings.

Is it the top version (small rings to the right)?

Or the lower version (small rings to the left)?

... and what happens if you create a nebula upside down, I wonder? Here I’m reminded of the Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square lyrics:

The moon that lingered over London Town Poor puzzled moon, he wore a frown How could he know we two were so in love The whole darn world seemed upside down

In a season where something is going "Down in the Up", and the answer to Gabriel’s mystery is achieved by turning the delivery box upside down, this is yet another up-down reversal we can add to the list!

..................................................................................

If you’ve been following our Good Omens posts up until now, you’ll be aware that this is not the only time scenes have been inconsistent or discontinuous. If this is new to you, please check out my summary post on Season 2 discontinuity here. For more of our posts, plus a collection of Clues and metas from all over the fandom, see here.

However, there is still more to come, so watch out for future updates. If you’re not currently puzzling over Good Omens and would like to join in, please do! We’d love to hear what you find - you can use the tag #ineffable mystery.

Special thanks to @noneorother, @embracing-the-ineffable, and to all the other lovely people at @ineffable-detective-agency (@theastrophysicistnextdoor, @ghstptats, @somehow-a-human, @lookingatacupoftea, @dunkthebiscuit @havemyheartaziraphale, @komorezuki, @251-dmr, @maufungi).

[fatuismooches]

Don't know about other dottore fans, but i love Mr reca dearly and I haven't even played through the new version story yet 😭🙏

Ik you only write for the harbingers, but i would totally not object to you writing for Mr reca because the fanfic area in regards to him is so surprisingly lacking??? (and a lot of it is yandere too :( i get that hes an insane theater kid but i need to cuddle that man) Maybe because of the lack of info around him, but i really need something!!!😩

I miss dottore so so much and Mr reca is just filling in that void for me right now 💔 i love you my weird red eyed dramatic babygirls

I LOVE MR RECA TOO!! 😭🥺🥺🥺 I thought he was very cute since i saw the trailer, and then i kept seeing cute pics of him from the quest and i was like !!!!! And then i finally got to finishing the quest last night and my gosh... he's so BQIDHWQDWQW. He's so cool. He deserves kissies.

Honestly if i get insane enough!!!! I may cook something up!! Actually though i already have a lil story in my head i daydream about..... JUST HEAR ME OUT EVEN IF IT'S ODDLY SPECIFIC - Reca who likes to search for old/barely known films to watch. Comes across a very low budget film reader made with some friends that was honestly quite low quality but the SCRIPT? THE PLOT? MWAH!!! he's obsessed. he needs to meet this genius (you.) and eventually he finds you. only to find out you changed your major from your passion (writing/animation/film or whatever) to something you're not interested at all for certain reasons. And then the rest is him hiring reader as his assistant/script writer and helping them get passionate again 🥺 and he slowly gets insane and doting on you it's cute or whatever <333

Two lines of him from the quest + some HCs i thought were really cute 🥺 (it's nothing spoilery but just in case! it's just him shit talking bad movies and cute assistant director frog moment febuwfew)

THIS LINE. I GIGGLED. WHY IS HE ACTUALLY FUNNY. I think it's cute to imagine him going on to reader about the horrible quality of movies - also, reader plans date nights where said trashy movies are being watched, Reca complains every minute.

THIS LINE TOO ARGHHHHH IM CRYING AND THROWING UPPPPP... THE WAY HE UNDERSTANDS AND TRANSLATES FOR HER IS SO CUTE... HE'S SO SERIOUS ABT HIS FRIEND...

The assistant director is also a camera that Reca uses, so he uses her to keep taking pics of you!!! And then Reca has to insist to her that this is a very important task that he needs her for....... he just talks to her A LOT about you. poor frog has to listen to him be insane about you 24/7.

Just reader befriending the frog in general. She rests on your shoulder frequently and Reca acts betrayed (he's actually so happy!!)

[jesncin]

The Potential of Asian Lois Lane. Pt 1: Girl Taking Over and American Alien, a comparative analysis

Lois Lane has had many iterations over the years. But specifically in the last decade, Lois has been reimagined as an Asian American woman in both the comics and recently in the animated show My Adventures with Superman.

I believe making Lois Asian is a very inspired choice for the Superman mythos! I would like to take a moment to analyze these versions of Lois from an Asian perspective, seeing what works, what doesn't, and what I'd like to see more of. We'll start with the comics first, as MAWS is going to need its own post.

Usual disclaimers: I'm just one Asian perspective, I do not and never will claim to cover every Asian person's opinion on a thing ever. We're not a monolith, we come from a variety of backgrounds and experiences. I'm simply a fan who enjoys media analysis and believes it's valuable to have my perspective in this topic. Secondly, this discussion covers the comic run American Alien, which is written by Max Landis. He's an ultra creep and while I think the comic is worth a read for what it is, I leave it up to you whether you'd like to buy the comic. You can always arg-arg-ahoy otherwise.

I'd like to start with Girl Taking Over: A Lois Lane Story written by Sarah Kuhn with art by Arielle Jovellanos. This is a self contained YA graphic novel about a young Japanese American Lois dealing with the ups and downs of breaking into journalism as a career in National City. When her dream internship at Catco gets a corporate take over, Lois seizes an opportunity to write an exposé on a shady art director. But when her story is turned down, Lois does some out of the box things to get the story of marginalized performers shared with the world.

Girl Taking Over is a fantastic story and I happily recommend it to anyone looking for how an Asian American Lois could be reimagined (with fabulous art by Arielle! The fashion especially is on-point). This story isn't just a diverse coat of paint on a Lois Lane story, being Asian informs Lois' experiences and choices. Both she and her frenemy roommate Miki, are ambitious Asian women yet have hidden insecurities where they still made themselves small to their respective white male bosses. They played into model minority in different ways, and it's only by working together that they're able to foster a community for their stories to be told.

Lois and Miki don't just "have a diverse friend group", that friend group is actively being taken advantage of and suppressed by white gatekeepers. By extension, Lois' friends from work find solidarity in each other. Lois looks up to Cat Grant, a Filipina-American journalist, because seeing Cat succeed made Lois feel like her dream as a journalist is possible. I love how Lois' mom (a character so rarely expanded on in DC canon) acts as a voice of comfort for Lois in the story. All these characters feel holistic and whole, going through their own unique struggles.

It's clear from interviews with both the writer and artist that they care for the history of Lois, and saw an opportunity to reimagine her in a way that aligns with her character but also revitalizes her for new readers of color who aren't used to seeing themselves reflected in media. It's taking Lois' ambition and fearlessness and channeling them into the need to be a model minority, and the insecurities that can come from the desire to succeed constantly. It's taking a character historically frustrated by sexism and disrespected by her male peers- including Clark Kent (who got better treatment than her as a man), and expanding her to be a Lois that has to deal with both sexism and racism in the workplace. It's humanizing Lois' excellence into something painfully specific and relatable for many Asian women.

The only thing I feel I want from this version of Lois is... honestly more of her! I want to see what Japanese Lois does when she moves to Metropolis and works at the Daily Planet. I want to see how her experiences in National City informs her adulthood. Girl Taking Over sets up an incredible groundwork for stories to be told in the Superman mythos. How would Lois react to Superman, a fellow immigrant? Would Superman see himself in Lois? Since she's someone who, in the American context, is perceived as the perpetual foreigner? What would their relationship be like? Out of all the Asian Lois' in media we have so far, this Asian Lois' story has the most rich potential in my opinion.

Up next, we have American Alien written by Max Landis. This 7 issue series swaps artists for each issue, as a means of reflecting different milestones in Clark's life. I will be focusing on issues #4, 5, and 7 since those have the most prominent Lois appearances. With that, I'd like to celebrate the artists for those issues: Jae Lee (issue 4), Francis Manapul (issue 5), and Jock (issue 7). All these artists did a fantastic job, their art styles are energetic and fun to look at. Lee and Manapul are both Asian artists (Korean and Filipino respectively) and I love how they draw Lois- who looks undeniably Asian in their art styles.

American Alien is a modern take on the Superman tale. It expands Clark's story to be connected to Batman, Green Lanterns, Green Arrow, and more. We see Clark grow from his days in Smallville to a city boy in Metropolis, coming into his own as Superman. It's a bold and pretty divisive take with some standout story moments. From what I know, this is likely the first time Lois has been reimagined as Asian- and continues to influence Superman media like MAWS (the producer specifically calls out this comic as inspiration).

In issue #4, Clark moves in to his Metropolis apartment and talks on the phone to his mom about "some bigshot guy named Louis Lane". The reader, likely familiar with the Superman mythos, knows Clark is coming in with biases and a preconceived notion of who he considers a promising student reporter. Once we meet Lois Lane however, the comic turns the reader's expectations on their head:

Lois Lane is an Asian American woman (it's not specified what her exact ethnicity is)! This is a fun moment where the comic metatextually challenged the reader's own biases, showing it's not just Clark who had a different idea of who Lois Lane could be.

Lois' introductory panel is my personal favorite part of her characterization in American Alien. Lois proudly stands as a wall of text behind her recounts how she was considered as a winner for the Daily Planet's Charlton Memorial Laureate Program. When asked why she deserves a place on the program, Lois snaps back that the very question itself is loaded. She's listed her credentials and looks professional- so she's either already been rejected and is just being made to "at least had my say" or she's been accepted and is "meant to garnish my success with eloquent affirmation" to which Lois refuses to do either.

This is a great defiant introduction to Lois, showcasing how jaded she is with the way the world perceives her- but is very confident in her self worth as a journalist. By the end of the issue she reaches out to Clark to combine their exclusive interviews into one story to make a big impression on the news. Her words inspire Clark to seize an opportunity to make a big change in the world as Superman.

Afterwards, the comic plays the classic Superman and Lois dynamic straight. Lois is initially suspicious of Superman, but eventually comes around and is inspired to hope through him. There's a great back and forth between the two where Lois' words initially inspire Clark to be Superman, then Clark assures Lois that Superman is probably just a good guy, and when Clark loses hope from a bad day of heroism, Lois gives him hope again. In the end, Lois realizes her love for Clark Kent over Superman and they share a passionate ending kiss.

Overall American Alien nails the Clark and Lois dynamic and understands their relationship. I consider this Asian Lois "just okay". I like that we get to see an adult jaded Asian Lois meet Clark Kent and Superman, and see them get together. Similarly to Girl Taking Over, I'd like to see how this Lois and Clark would play out. My only issue with American Alien's Lois is a sense of missed opportunities.

The writing overall leaves room for plausible deniability over Lois' Asian identity. The artists (particularly Lee and Manapul) are doing the heavy lifting delivering Asian Lois. If she was drawn as a white woman, none of the writing would need adjustment. Sure her introductory panel implies that people judge her based on her appearance- but that could be just sexism instead of the intersectional experience of Asian Lois going through racism and sexism. Clark did assume she was a man after all- it's never specified if he assumed she was a white man. The only thing you'd lose is the metatextual shock value of Lois Being Asian This Time. That's really what this Lois boils down to, initial shock value with no specific writing to follow through. Her marginalization and identity is written broadly enough that it could be attributed to general sexism and womanhood. It's not specific to being an Asian American woman.

However, because of its broadness, there's room for Lois' Asian identity to be built on in the world of American Alien. The story centers Clark's experiences, but I can easily imagine a continuation of the story expanding on Lois'. The basic groundwork is there. I think it's telling that in a comic called American Alien, we get a more diverse Superman cast system. Jimmy Olsen is Black, Lois Lane is Asian- when Clark moves to the city it feels expansive compared to Smallville. It's a world that feels ready to tackle themes of racism if it was ever to continue (and probably in the hands of a writer with that kind of life experience!). In the end, there's room for this Asian Lois to be something special. Clark isn't the only American Alien in American Alien, if you catch my drift.

You can see how Girl Taking Over has a huge piece of what American Alien is missing. The characters aren't just diverse for shock value, they're not an aesthetic change over historically white characters. They have a story to tell that is inseparable from their identities. Whereas in American Alien, the art is doing the heavy lifting with the reimagined diverse characters- Girl Taking Over has both the writing and art carry the representation. Lois can't be changed into being white in Girl Taking Over.

Both of these stories have potential- but if I had the choice to pick which story should continue, it would easily be Girl Taking Over. This graphic novel works for what it is: it makes sense that this is a younger and idealistic Lois that hasn't met Clark or Superman yet. It's a YA book and Lois can absolutely carry a story on her own. What I want as an Asian fan, is for the potential of Asian Lois Lane to be seen through to the point it's considered the definitive version. As of right now, Girl Taking Over is a fun twist on the Lois Lane story. Not something that is seen as inseparable from the Superman mythos. However! If those themes of marginalization and immigrant identity are tapped into for both Superman and Lois Lane? I feel that has the potential to radically strengthen the overall themes of Superman. It's certainly been touched on before.

(TW/CW: racial slur mention in below image)

Superman Smashes the Klan by Gene Yang with art by Gurihiru is a retelling of the Clan of the Fiery Cross arc in the classic radio show The Adventures of Superman where Superman faces off with the Klan who had been terrorizing a Chinese American family. The graphic novel adapts the story to center the Chinese American characters, and makes it a point to show that Superman relates to them. If that dynamic was applied to Asian Lois, that feels like a definitive love story waiting to happen.

The classic two person love triangle with Clark and Lois is that Lois loves Superman and is indifferent to Clark Kent. She thinks Superman is this ideal macho man and Clark is a cowardly fumbling guy at work who rivals her. What happens when you take that dynamic and made it so Lois identified with Superman- the more othering identity? How complicated would that make Clark Kent feel? How would he navigate that when his marginalization isn't always visible? That's a whole new depth to the love triangle we're not used to seeing. I feel so far, none of these versions of Lois have touched upon this potential dynamic. The perpetual foreigner, Lois Lane and the ultimate alien foreigner that is Superman. The jaded city girl meets the alien farm boy who gives her hope. They inspire each other to be more of themselves in a world not ready to accept either of them.

Up next, we'll be discussing My Adventures with Superman's Korean Lois Lane in pt 2. It's well. You can probably guess how I feel about it from what I wrote here but welp. We'll talk about it.

[helpfandom]

Analysis on YANDERE PLATONIC TAS Batman Villains. Pt 1.

THIS IS NOT THE NEW ANIMATED SERIES. Strictly ONLY The Animated Series.

Villains:

MR. FREEZE

RIDDLER

CLAYFACE

POISON IVY

MAD HATTER

CATWOMAN

What I am using as the archtypes: https://www.tumblr.com/helpfandom/724022554446135296/types-of-yandere?source=share YANDERE_AUXILLARY made it!!!!

I find it so curious that people neglect Platonic as a yandere version, {not to say that I am a pioneer, no no no, but rather that people don't write about it as much as romantic.} And so, here is my analysis on various TAS Batman Villains. Of course, this is part one, as there are many TAS villains. I just need to get to them.

Also, side note. Thank you TAS writers for already making Mad Hatter a yandere so now I have less work to do.

Mr Freeze: Now, he is the yandere type of Obsessive, Overprotective, Clingy. He found something else to focus on, and it happened to be you. Reader would be more of the friendly type, more outgoing for Mr. Freeze to have such an obsession with them. He wouldn't stalk you as much, more so just an immediate kidnap the next time he sees you. Most likely catalyst for his yandere swap would be dealing with the loss of his wife. He lost his wife. He won't lose his kid too. Maybe Reader was there to help, or maybe he saw his wife in you. No matter what it was, as soon as there is an obsession, he wants to keep you. You're screwed as soon as it began. He's overprotective, constantly hovering over you. "I've lost too much. I won't lose the last thing of my wife, too!"

Riddler: Hmm... His yandere archetypes for platonic is... Possessive, Delusional, Sadistic, and Self-Indulgent. His egotistical personality, tied with an obsession with a kid who is unafraid to throw hostility back? Not a good pair for Gotham. In his mind, to not be afraid of him, or to throw hostility back at him, must mean that you like him. And with his intelligence, how could you not? His catalyst, well, there isn't really a catalyst per say, more so he was already obsessed with beating Batman and being intelligent, so why wouldn't he be obsessed with someone who can challenge him? He's more of a stalker type, only kidnapping when Batman and Robin get a little too close to you for his comfort. You're just like a little him, well you have to be taught by the best, most intelligent, and that's him. "Well well, my dear child. You seem to have escaped, but I'm sure you know that you won't be out for long..."

Clayface: He is... Clingy, Manipulative, Impulsive, and slightly Sadistic. He would be obsessed likely with a theatre kid, or someone who enjoys the fine arts {So an Art Kid, Band Kid, Choir Kid, etc.} He would see that and miss the days when he could do that, when he could act or enjoy the arts. Because he can transform his shape into anybody, he transforms himself into people close to you, of course he stalks them ahead of time so that he can properly assume their character, but he quickly kills them off so he can assume that role in your life. If it was a friend who had a crush on you, he enjoys watching the life leave their eyes. How dare they try to ruin your potential with their desires? He uses someone in a position of power, too. Likely a teacher, or if you have a director? Boom, suddenly you have the main role, or a solo, or you won the first place in an art competition. Who knows what kind of a catalyst would be there, all I can tell you is that BOOM! You're being kidnapped by someone you trusted deeply. You watch your former mentor's skin droop off of this, this person, who's kidnapping you, revealing a rocky, clay texture. Clayface. "Heya kid, you already slipped up and called your teacher Dad, so I know you can for me too. Here, would looking like them help?"

Poison Ivy: Her yandere archetypes are Overprotective, Clingy, and attempts to be Manipulative. Delusional, but yet Lucid; She has delusions about Reader, but not in the 'ah, yes. Reader loves me too.' She would be a little apprehensive at an uncaring Reader, after all, if you're not for plants, you must be against plants. For an uncaring Reader to work, Reader must be a plant lover. Poison Ivy would see this, and suddenly everything makes sense. She assumes that Reader puts up a fake persona so that Reader can care for plants in their free time, so that no one knows that Reader loves plants. She loves that about Reader, and that's why she gets obsessed. She wants to keep the only other plant lover in Gotham and protect them against the cold, cruel world. She would originally try a sporeling, but she misses the real you so that plan fails and that's why she would kidnap you. "Come here my Rosebud, the world is cruel. Let me be your mother, like Mother Earth."

Mad Hatter: His characteristics are Delusional, Self-Indulgent, Overprotective, and Clingy. Who truly knows why he started to care for you? Perhaps you reminded him of someone a little too much... Nevertheless, not what we are here to focus on. He would not be a stalkerish type, but he would delude himself into believing you love him like a father. He would not be afraid to use his mind control on you. As soon as he manages to get you under his control, you're screwed. You're gone from Gotham forever. He has been shown to be willing to do it before, with Alice. I think he would be willing to do it until he gets you to the safe house which looks a lot like one of the sets for Alice in Wonderland... He would be overprotective, scared that Batman would take away his kid, take away the few things in life he loves. "NO NO NO! Batman simply cannot take away my child too!"

Catwoman: She is Clingy, Manipulative, Impulsive. She has been shown to be someone with a ton of money, {Paying $10,000 dollars for a charity that she loves, a lot of money, period, but also for 1992} So I feel that she would be willing to use that against her kiddo, saying that it's okay for Reader to use her money, and then guilt tripping Reader {who, realistically, wouldn't give a shit, but I digress.} Into staying with her to pay off the debt. Her clingy and Impulsiveness is because of when she was involuntarily transformed into an animal, some things stayed the same, and now that she found her cub? Even Batman can't fight a wild animal for her kid. "Lioncub, why are you worried? Mommy's got enough money for the both of us."

[wisteriagoesvroom]

gax + corporate/law vibes + ‘The powerpoint was steadily taking over their relationship, something that Max was not willing to stand for.’

gax?? gax!!

power (you make some points): a gax ficlet

rated m, ~1.2k words now also readable on ao3

author babble:

bear in mind i wrote this before i knew more about the Gax Lore i.e. karting together, actually being nice to each other blablabla. you could also just retrofit the vibes and hopefully they still work. anyways!

will throw this up on ao3 when i’m not sitting bleary eyed in an airport

————

If there was one thing that Max Verstappen wouldn’t tolerate, it was George Russell having the monopoly on good PowerPoint presentations. Max had won all four years of debate in College, as well as the dubious title of “most radical deployment of Google Slides templates” at his MBA, and he was not about to be usurped by the other guy in his department who actually knew how to use an animate transition.

“You missed an indent there.” Max says, pointing at the monitor. Yellow and red lights wink at them from the outside, as if to say: you’re both in your mid-twenties, quit wasting it on a computer screen at 11pm on a Wednesday, maybe?

Max is not staring, very determined not to look at his teammate’s facial expression. But George is almost certainly rolling his eyes right now.

“Was coming back to that, alright?” George huffs back. Max is very professional most of the time. But something about how wound up George is, how insanely pedantic he is about everything from semicolons to coffee cup placement for the Directors to taking insanely detailed minutes that nobody except Max reads after the meetings – well. What is it that Nietschze once said? We hate in others what we most identify with about ourselves. Or was that from Twitter? Max does not really use Twitter except to look at Bloomberg News updates and cat videos, so he does not know. And anyway Nietzsche never made a six figure salary.

“It would just be easier if you would let me do it.” Max says.

“Fuck right off, mate.”

“Oh, wouldn’t you like me to.”

“Not now.”

“Just share the link to this. I’ll do it.”

“We agreed to take turns on this.”

“Yes, Russell. But sometimes, the rules are meant to be bent.”

George swivels his chair to Max, then. Fully attempts to pin him with his gaze, commencing an awkward stare-off that lasts way too many seconds and makes Max once again realise that George’s eyes remind him of the expensive fish tank he saw at the Partners’ sushi dinner once. Max doesn’t think those same fish were the ones they ended up eating. But he does remember that dinner because it was the one where the Partners had dangled the promise of a huge promotion if they could help carry the company merger across the line successfully. The problem is, there was only one spot.

George’s distracting aquatic orbitals aside, fortunately, Max (i) never backs down, and (ii) has been told that he has the dead-eyed emotional stare of a robot missing an empathy software upgrade sometimes.

And clearly, the powerpoint was steadily taking over their relationship, something that Max was not willing to stand for.

Max leans back in his chair, stance all mock-relaxed. “Do you want to be out of here before midnight, or not?”

“We’re expensing the Ubers either way, so it doesn’t make a difference to me, mate.”

Fine. If George is so hyperfocused on The Tasks that he’s forgotten the fun part of being Questionably Close Coworkers, so be it.

Max deploys the nuclear option.

He sticks his leg out, nudging the toe of his Pradas onto George’s slacks. And strokes his foot halfway up to a sensitive point on George’s thigh. Max may even flutter his lashes a little.

To his credit, George does not react. Merely swings his eyes like a lamp to Max’s face again. His hand does, however, goes still on the mouse.

“What exactly are you doing?”

“I don’t know.” Max feigns. He knows that George hates, more than anything, anyone getting dirt on his precious Ralph Laurens. But at least he has his attention now. “Was hoping we could move onto the more fun part of the typical evening activities. Maybe.”

“We shouldn’t be doing that again anyway.”

“George.”

“What?”

“That is not what you said the last, hm, fourteen times that we have done this, eh?”

“Who’s counting?”

“I thought you were the most careful of rule followers and data analysis, knapperd.”

George is a human being, but Max is almost certain the other man shakes himself like he’s preening right now.

“Well. It’s what the team likes me for, and it’s what I’ll keep doing.”

“Oh yes. Surely we must keep in mind the team. And the shareholders. They are very important.”

“Quite.”

“But should we tell them that you like it so much, George. When I do this.” Max says. Rising up, fully crowding George in, hands gripping the cool handles of the computer chair. Leaning in to nibble the side of George’s neck.

George swallows. Max watches his throat move.

Next, Max mouths the words onto the side of George’s jaw, stubble prickling his mouth. “And this.”

The click of the mouse continues steadily as Max moves his mouth to the shell of George’s ear. “And let’s not forget. This.”

Max tilts George’s face up fully, then. George’s face is flushed, eyes sparkling, all surprise at the sudden change of pace, but eager, too.

When Max seals his lips over George’s, George groans, and his hands shoot up to Max’s waist immediately. It doesn’t feel quite like winning a deal or a pitch does for Max, but the completion comes pretty damn close.

Max sweeps his tongue into George’s mouth. George opens willingly, like he always does. In the back of Max’s logical brain, a warning sign blares that the computer chair may not be able to support the weight of them both – because they spend a lot of time pretending they don’t work out together at the gym but Max knows exactly what George’s deadlift PB is and it’s pretty damn high for a scrawny looking dude.

And despite the keening protest of said chair, the two of them are both lost to it now. Max jams one knee between George’s legs, George nibbles hungrily at Max’s lower lip, Max thrusts his hips all needy, and maybe if Max is nice about it George might suck him off under the table, and–

Outlook chimes again.

“Blasted piece of shit.” George says, breaking away. His hands go still at Max’s waist. “Why we’re using G-Suite and Microsoft Office at the same time I will never know.”

George squeezes his eyes shut, as if making himself stop this is causing him physical pain. Maybe it’s that or the workflow incompatibility when George tries to move his custom Excel-Trello gantts into a third party API.

And Max won’t lie. He kind of likes it when George gets so irritated about these things. When he cares a bit too much. Because what is Max but exactly like that, too.

“Hazards of a merger, I guess. But without that, I would never have met you, no?”

George makes a noise like he knows what Max means. The other man straightens his shirt collar, and Max runs a hand through his hair. He’s been growing it out lately, because George had made a passing comment at the bathroom sink once about it looking good.

Sleeping with the person competing for the same Chief of Staff position is possibly the worst decision he could’ve made, and Max once dyed his hair platinum blonde. But, they’re stuck here together. Hell is a slightly more tolerable place when Satan’s right hand man looks this good. And knows his coffee order without asking.

Besides. Max is not bothered. He knows that the promotion is his. This is just a minor plot inconvenience.

Later, they will expense the uber back to George’s place, where Max will put his mouth on George’s arse, and give him a practical demonstration of the three different ways he’s learned to elicit pleasure from the male prostate.

George will whimper and whine the whole way through it, and after they’re both sated, they’ll both roll over to check their emails, barely concealing their smiles. They will pretend that what’s happening between them could be as clean as their zero-email inboxes. As if their connection is not violently seeping through containment.

All in the name of team bonding. For the firm. Yes.

(Or this is what they tell themselves, to maintain the illusion, anyway.)

[lainiespicewrites]

Electric summer Ch. 2

Here is chapter 2! I love everything about this story so far it’s so fun to write and I adore writing Sy! It was so weird I was modeling this after my time at camp and I literally got a brochure from them in the mail today😂 maybe the universe is telling me something 👀

Anyway enjoy! Comments, likes and weblogs are encouraged!

Summary: Sy and ofc are united as camp co-counselors and spend the day catching up and reminiscing!

Warnings:none? Just cursing a lil

Link for Pt 1 if you missed it 🥰

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I blinked a few times in disbelief. “How, I-I…aren’t you…” I stammered trying to string a sentence together, still lost in the puzzle my brain was trying to work out. How was he standing here in front of me right now?

“Come here,” He laughed. Throwing his arm around my shoulder and pulling me into a tight hug. I was still for a moment still in shock about the situation but I pulled myself out of it and hugged him back squeezing just as tight.

“I can’t believe it,” He chuckled. “This had to be Rebecca’s doing.” He said.She was an old counselor of ours. She was with us our last summer together.She also happened to be camp director now and in charge of assigning cabin groups. This was surely not a coincidence. Sy’s arms were still around me. Admittedly I wasn’t ready to pull away just yet either. I was afraid he’d disappear and this would all be a dream. My mind was playing tricks on me or something.

“How are you here?” I finally strung the question together, pulling back to look up at him. Did he get taller? I could have shrunk but I swear he got taller. “I mean aren’t you in the military?” I asked, obviously confused.

“Take a walk with me?” he asked. “I’ve been dying to see this place again.” He added. I nodded and we finally let go of each other. It may have been years since we’d seen each other but I could still read him. Logan was social. He loved to talk, he was extremely expressive and attentive. Right now he’s quiet. And pensive. When we walked away from the cabin he shoved both hands in his pockets staring straight ahead. Whatever had happened it was difficult for him. Like the night on the lake in the canoe. When he told me he wouldn’t be coming back to camp. It’s why he wouldn’t look at me. He knew or was afraid that after all this time I could tell when something was hard for him.

He hated coming off as weak. It’s why he was so competitive. When the boys played ultimate frisbee his team always won. In high school when he played football he was the quarterback. He had to be the best. The strongest. The leader. But not with me. He told me that once. He told me even before our summer fling, back when all we were was best friends excited to spend the summer together. That’s why he liked me so much. He could let his guard down with me. I didn’t understand it then. But eventually I figured out exactly what he meant. And I saw it in him now. Even when we’d only been reunited for minutes.

We walked from my cabin and through the park out to an open field outside the woods. There was a path that ran alongside it. If you took it left it would take you to the lake down to the dock to swim, if you followed it further you crossed a bridge and you could go sailing or take out a kayak or a canoe. If you took the path right it was a hiking trail. It had its own forks in the road one leading to a nature preserve and a small shelter where the camp housed some exotic reptiles and other animals. And one that led to a ropes course and a rock climbing station. We didn’t take either path. Sy stopped walking and stared off at the trees. I came up next to him and gently put my hand on his shoulder.

“You don’t have to tell me, we don’t have to talk about it, whatever it is. I’m just really glad you’re here.” I spoke softly. I felt his hand over mine on his shoulder and he turned to me with a sad smile. He let out a deep breath before he spoke

“I’m retired from the military. Uh, discharged. Medically.” He stared at the grass when he spoke. I could hear the shame in his voice. It broke my heart. I slid my hand off his shoulder and over his back soothingly. I didn’t say anything. He knew I was listening. “Last April, I was leading the boys into a raid. We’d been waiting on this for weeks. Trying to find these guys. Somehow they got tipped off that we were comin’ and they were ready. One of my boys was being attacked. Enemy came out of nowhere. I jumped to cover him. Told him to run up stairs with the rest of the guys to secure the building. He was alright. His chest plate protected him. But I got shot in the leg with 2 bullets. I managed to stop the attacker. But I had to be carried out of there. They sent a Med-line, it's a helicopter.” He explained. I nodded and let him keep talking.

“I was in surgery that night. They almost thought I was gonna have to lose it. But the Dr was able to get the bullets out. They uh, didn’t think I’d walk right again. So.. I was discharged from the military not long after. They transferred me to a civilian hospital for physical therapy…” He trailed off.

“How is it now?” I asked softly. He finally looked up from the grass. My voice pulled him back to reality.

“I ain’t gonna be runnin’ in the Olympics anytime soon but. Normal. Aches sometimes when the weather gets weird or cold. Probably coulda went back but no one knew how long it would take. Or if…if I’d ever get better.” He said.

“They should’ve known,” I said, “nothing stops Logan Syverson when he’s got his mind made up.” There it was. That genuine smile I’d missed all these years.

“Guess they don’t know me like you do,” He chuckled. “Enough about me, it’s been 7 years darlin what have I missed?” he asked, his hand hovering over my lower back guiding me toward the left path. We started to walk again toward the lake.

“I wish I could say you missed a lot but,” I shrugged. “I graduated. Went to school and graduated again, and at the end of this summer I’ll finally start my first job with the schools.” I explained flatly. It was nothing compared to the things he’d done and what he’d seen.

“Hey, graduating college is a big deal. I’m proud of you! Child Psychology, right?” He asked. I stopped walking and just stared.

“You, remember that?” I questioned. He laughed and threw his arm around my shoulder pulling me into his side.

“Of course I do. It was all you talked about our last summer together. You were nervous about getting into the school you wanted. I admired that because you were only a junior. I was going into my senior year and I’d never even thought about that shit.”

“But you knew you were going into the military, you didn’t have to think about that.” I argued.

“Maybe, but you were so smart, you are so smart, you had it all figured out. I was just following what everyone else in my family did. Now that I’m out, I kinda wish I’d had some other plan. Something I knew I wanted to do to fall back on.” I nodded. I understood what he meant. It must be hard for him now. The things he’d aspired to be in his adolescence had come and passed. He had to reinvent himself now. Start over. I couldn’t imagine how scary that must feel.

“You’re smart too Logan. You’re quick in a crisis. You’re logical and level headed. You’re great with people. And and from what you’ve said you’re an incredible leader. I have no doubt you’ll figure it all out soon.” We had wandered some more, now we were walking along the lake. Or what we knew as the beach. When they’d built the camp they carved out the shore and laid down sand. Leaving it more like mini beach than a country lake. I followed Logan out onto the dock. He turned to me and smiled.

“I think coming back here this summer was exactly what I needed.” He said. I smiled back giving his arm a gentle squeeze… and trying not to dwell on the fact that his muscles had gotten incredibly larger.

“It’s funny,” I answered. “I always remember it being the other way around, you giving me pep talks and encouraging me to take risks.” He chuckle the air between us becoming lighter as I watched his smile form into a playful smirk.

“That’s because you were always trying to chicken out. You were a little scaredy cat.” He laughed. I pouted. And smacked him in the arm. “Ow,” he teased as he fake soothed his arm.

“I was not!” I argued. He shook his head.

“You were too!” He challenged. I rolled my eyes resting my hands on my hips.

“Name one time,” I groaned. He eyed me with that same smirk on his face with an eyebrow raised looking at me curiously.

“You really wanna do this? He teased. “Alright, you did this to yourself, night hikes.” He stated. I frowned.

“Oh that is so not fair!” I objected. “You know I hate the dark. That doesn’t count!” I argued.

“Mhmm, rock climbing.” he deadpanned. I scoffed.

“I suck at climbing I have like no upper-body strength I wasn’t gonna embarrass myself infront of everyone.” I defended. He shook his head again trying to hold back a laugh.

“You’d never done it before. You had no idea if you were bad at it or not!”

“Okay, well… it was really high.” I pouted.

“My point exactly,” He chuckled.

“That means nothing!” I said. He groaned pinching the bridge of his nose.

“You wouldn’t even jump off the dock into the water that first summer! Because the water was deeper. You knew how to swim.” His shoulders were shaking with laughter. “You remember how I got you to do it?” He asked.

“Yeah you literally picked me up threw me in off the dock! I wound’t call that being “kind and encouraging.” I laughed emphasizing the last bit.

“It worked,” He smirked.

“It was traumatizing.” I countered.

“ I caught you blushing when I grabbed you, I think you liked it.” He winked. I glared at him crossing my arms.

“You have no proof,” I scoffed. He smirked, a mischievous glint in his eye.

“You wanna test that theory?” He raised an eyebrow taking a step closer to me. My eyes went wide and I started to back up slowly.

“Logan,” I said softly. He looked me over that cocky grin plastered on his face.

“I’d start runnin’ if I was you.” He challenged. I backed up a little more, holding my hands up in defends.

“You don’t have to do this.” I reasoned with him. He let out a low chuckle.

“I think we both know I do.” He said. “Last chance darlin’” He teased. I turned on my heal quickly back toward the beach. Only getting in a few long strides before he had his arm around my waist. Damn his long legs. It doesn’t help that mine are so short either. I squealed as he lifted me off the ground in his arms.

“No! Logan please!”

“I warned ya, told you to start running sooner.” His voice was deep in my ear as he carried me to the end of the dock and I wrapped my arms around his neck for some sort of safety net. “Would you look at that.” He smirked, looking down at me in his arms. Bastard. Of course he was right. After all this time he still had the same effect on me.

“Oh shut up!” I rolled my eyes. Which was a bold move for someone in my current position.

“You’re blushin’, after all this time, I still get your heart racing.” He rasped.

“My face is red because I was running, and it’s ..it’s warm out here.” I argued.

“You took 3 steps, you weren’t running,” He smirked. “You’re just too stubborn to admit you still feel it.” He whispered against my ear. I felt hot. And it had nothing to do with the sun glaring down on us on the pier. It had been 7 years. Did we even know each other anymore? And…he ..he left. That hurt so bad. What if he leaves again. I don’t think I could handle losing him a second time. We’re in totally different parts of our lives than we were then. But at the same time… “Answer one thing for me, all this time, did you see anybody else? Let anyone else in? I don’t see a ring on your finger.” He raised an eyebrow looking down at me intently. I swallowed hard and swatted at his chest.

“Put me down Sy!” I whined. He jostled me in his arms threatening to drop me in the water.

“You want down?” He smirked. I squealed, wrapping my arms tighter around his neck.

“Logan, Don’t!” I chided. He chuckled, adjusting his grip under my thighs. He leaned in close. I could feel his breath against my ear, his beard tickling my skin.

“Tell me, I just wanna hear it. Did you wait for me?” He sounded like honey. The way his voice hummed in my ear. He always did. It had been so long since we’d stood this close, or been this close and I could feel myself still magnetized to him. It’s like he lit up every sense in my body. I had no choice but to follow his warmth and his chaos and his light. I never felt anything like it with anyone else.

“ Sy you know, I …” Before I could answer him he leaned forward and tossed me into the water. I screamed and heard him chuckle before I hit the water. It was still a little cold since summer had only just started. As I started to come back up to the surface I heard a huge splash a few feet away from me. Logan jumped off the dock with me. When he surfaced he swam closer and I splashed him. “You’re such an ass!” I rolled my eyes. He laughed, swimming toward the shore.

“I had to distract you. You thought I wasn’t gonna do it,” He smirked.

“Yeah I thought maybe you were like a decent guy now or something!” I scoffed.

“Aww come on honey, don’t be mad at me, you know it’s not really summer till we take our first swim.”

“Yeah I know,” I smiled.

We left the lake, soaking wet and headed back to our cabins to dry off. I couldn’t get what he’d said out of my head. I knew it was killing him to know. Why did he stop me? After drying off and changing into some dry clothes I hung my wet clothes and towel out on our cabin's little clothing line. I dug through my bag to find a new pair of shoes, because those were soaked too, and headed over to Logan’s cabin where he was waiting at the picnic table. I walked over and hopped up sitting on the table top. Something I’d made a habit of during my years at camp. And it followed me everywhere. I sit on my countertop all the time. He looked up from where he’d been writing in a notebook on the table and smiled.

“Feel better?” he asked.

“Now that my feet aren’t in squishy wet sneakers? Yeah much better, no thanks to you.” I laughed.

“Did you have fun?” He raised an eyebrow. I groaned.

“Yeah,” I muttered. He had a proud grin on his face.

“Well then you’re welcome.” He mused. I rolled my eyes and flickered my gaze down to his notebook.

“Whatcha working on?” I asked curiously. He leaned back looking down at the list one hand smoothing over his beard.

“Trying to remember all of the camp traditions. The games we played. Ice breakers things like that. Trying to set up a bit of a plan or a loose schedule before the kids get here tomorrow. I don’t know if the boys' cabins still do their prank war, but I’m bringing it back.” He said seriously.

“Ah yes, the infamous prank war, you were ruthless. But your cabin always came out victorious.” I giggled. His eyes met mine and he just smiled holding my gaze for a moment. I shook myself out of it before I could let him in too deep. “What else you got?” I prodded. He sighed. And his eyes went back to the paper in front of him, trying to hide the disappointment on his face.

“Uh, Just some of the group games we used to play, Red rover, capture the flag, the coed softball game. Shit like that.But I just wanna make sure we get everyone comfortable when they get here ya know? I always felt…”

“Safe? When we were here. Me too.” I nodded.

“Just wanna be sure everyone’s having a good time like we did. Whatever problems we were having back home, in our family, or friends, kids that were dealing with bullies, we left it behind. We didn’t tolerate anyone being left out. Just want that for our campers.” He said.

“You’re really passionate about this.” I added.

“Aren’t you, I mean, you loved this place as much as I did, … do.” He added. I nodded.

“Of course I am. I’m just really glad that you are too. I’m glad that my co-counselor is someone who loves and appreciates this place and the kids as much as I do!” I smiled. “I’ve got this book of icebreaker games. We can go through it after our counselor meeting. Find the ones we think are best fit.” I smiled. He nodded.

“Sounds great.”

Later that night after our meeting introducing and welcoming us all to camp and going over our rules and shifts, and after dinner we met in my cabin. We sat outside on the patio at the picnic table. We started flipping through the book and talking about each of the games. Some we had done when we were campers.

“Oh, here's a good one.” I said pointing to one of the pages. “Remember doing this one, ‘two truths and a lie’ we always had a lot of fun with that.

“I do! It was like being a cop trying to read a lie detector test. And trying to beat one. “He chuckled.

“You were good at it!” I laughed. “Like try me,” I nodded to him. He smiled, and cocked his head to the side thinking for a moment.

“Alright, I blew a tire going 90 down the highway last week. I shot my first gun when I was 10, or my brother broke my arm in a fist fight.”

“Jesus!” I laughed. “From the stories you told me about your brothers I wouldn’t doubt it. I know you like to drive fast but you take good care of your truck…I’m gonna say it’s the gun.” He shook his head.

“Nope, I broke his arm.” My eyes went wide and I tried to hold back my laughter.

“Your poor mother.” I giggled.

“She got used to it.” He smiled. “Your turn, see if you can fool me.” He said. I groaned. I never could trick him. He always knew. But maybe I could use this as an opportunity to answer his question back at the lake.

“Okay,” I nodded, “Uh, I have a short story published in a book. I..I’m still a virgin. I lost my phone on a cruise to Jamaica,” He looked at me quizzically, his bottom. Lip pulled between his teeth as his gears turned.

“There’s no way,” he finally spoke. “You’re not still a virgin. No way.” He added. I shook my head. My eyes met his.

“I’ve never been to Jamaica,” I said softly. He let out a shaky laugh.

“In seven years nobody.. Nobody’s tried?” He questioned.

“They’ve tried.” I said. “I tried.” I added. “I wanted to be over you. I tried to be mad at you, for leaving me. But I knew that was selfish. You didn’t leave me. Certainly not because you wanted to. You were fighting for me. For everyone you loved. I couldn’t be mad at you for that.” I admitted.

“I never intended to hurt you so bad. It hurt like hell leaving that summer.” He said.

“I know you didn’t,” I said. “When I went to college I tried so hard to put myself out there and meet other people, I went to a few parties. I made out on trashy frat couches. It was awful. I did go on a couple of dates. I convinced myself I had to. I was sure you’d moved on, found someone new. I liked them okay but it was nothing special. They weren’t… you.” I said. He nodded soaking in all the information I’d just given him.

“You have no idea how happy that makes me. To know that you were still thinking of me as much as I was thinking of you. I have to be honest with you. I slept around in high school. When we broke things off that summer I was just trying to shake it. I hate to say it but, I barely remember their names. But you’re wrong about one thing. I never found anyone, never had one serious relationship after that last summer. You said it darlin, they weren’t you.” He rested his hand on my knee softly caressing my skin with his thumb. I never thought. I’d be here again. At camp. With him. In this position all over again. I think somehow we were getting a second chance. I’m not sure I’m ready for that. But I’m willing to see what the universe has put right in front of me.

“Sy, all I wanted back then was to be with you. To kiss you. For you to be my first. I don’t know if I’m still the girl you knew then. If you still want this after all this time. I don’t know what I want, I’ve spent so much time trying to forget you and what this felt like I don’t know if I know how to do this anymore.” He saw the panic in my eyes. And his face softened. He reached up tucking my hair behind my ear his fingers resting on the back of my head, gently massaging with his fingertips.

“This is a lot, I know, it’s a lot for me too. What I want is the woman you are now. For us to learn how to be now. If it aint the same spark then maybe it’s not meant to be. But i’m not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth and let you go again. Not without saying we tried to give this a shot.” He said his eyes boring into mine My heart felt like it was overflowing with emotion. I nodded. It was all I could do. “There is one thing, we never got to do that summer that I can’t get out of my head.” He whispered.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“I never got to kiss you,” He stated almost breathless like it was a secret we’d been keeping for years. And a weight had now lifted off his shoulders.

“We never did, did we?” I blushed. He shook his head a gentle smile on his lips.

“It’s all can think about since I saw you again. That, and how you’re somehow even more beautiful.”

“Logan,” I blushed playfully shoving him.

“It’s true.” He said. I smiled.

“Well, are you gonna make a move or am I gonna have to make it for you?” Logan chuckled grabbing my waist to pull me closer and cupping my cheek. He leaned in his hot breath against my lips and…

“Hey you two!” Becca called from across the lawn. We jumped apart quickly. I could hear Logan groan no matter how hard he tried to hide it. “I just wanted to check in with you!” she said as she approached the cabin, “You settling in okay? Nervous about the kiddos or anything?” she asked. I shook my head.

“I’m a little nervous, not like I did much babysittin or anything,” Sy admitted. “But I’ve had plenty of practice with my brothers little rascals.” He laughed.

“Great!” She said. “Don’t be nervous, I’m so glad to have you guys back here, you’re our only counselrs this year that are camp alumni, and I always love having people that know the place well.” she smiled.

“It’s good to be back Becca! I never thought I’d see this place again!” I added.

“You know you’re always welcome!” She smiled. “Well I’ll leave you guys too it then, I’m so happy to see you two hear together again,” She winked. “Good night you two.”

“Well, she’s got impeccable timing.” Sy groaned. I giggled and squeezed his shoulder softly.

“This summers just getting started Sy,” I smiled. “I uh, better get some sleep, I was gonna get up early to decorate my cabin for the girls.” I said quickly. He nodded trying to hide his disappointment.

“Okay darlin’, I’ll see ya breakfast?” He asked. I nodded and turning and opening the door to my cabin

“I’ll see you then, goodnight Sy.”

“Goodnight Lainie,”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Link for Ch3

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[novelmonger]

Continuing to watch through the Writer/Director commentary of LotR (with Peter Jackson, Philippa Boyens, and Fran Walsh) and jotting down any new-to-me information I come across. Here's what I gleaned from TTT:

When they got the New Line logo to put on the movies, it was very old and scratched, so PJ gave it to Weta to touch it up. They joked about how they should bill New Line for it XD

Originally, the studio wanted TTT to start off with a prologue too, with Cate Blanchett narrating what sounds like it was basically going to be a "Previously on..." spiel, even though they didn't like the idea of the prologue in the first one. Thankfully, these three ignored the studio's advice both times XD

The Uruk who says "Manflesh" is also the guy in Sauron's armor in the prologue!

In the scene where the Rohirrim find Theodred, it's not actually raining! They used rain towers for the close-ups, but any wide shots just have CG rain. I would never have guessed!

Andy Serkis did the voices for the Uruk-Hai who says the "maggoty bread" line, and the orc who says, "Yeah, why can't we have some meat?" (The actor in the suit for the latter is, of course, Jed Brophy, who went on to play Nori in the Hobbit movies.)

Somehow it never registered for me that Orlando Bloom has brown eyes, and so he had to wear blue contacts when he played Legolas ^^' But sometimes he wasn't able to wear the contacts (or forgot), so there are some scenes where they had to fix it in post.

PJ called the Treebeard from the animated Bakshi movie "a walking carrot" XD He also said that Treebeard is his favorite character!

The scene with Smeagol killing Deagol was originally going to be a flashback right after Frodo says his name, and then the Nazgul shriek would pull the audience out of the flashback. They decided not to do that for pacing reasons and because we haven't spent much time with Gollum yet, so that's why they put it at the beginning of RotK instead.

Bernard Hill had his son with him on the shoot and would play with him in his downtime on the Edoras set. Puts things into perspective when you hear that he was the one who came up with the line "No parent should have to bury their child."

They were originally looking at Bernard Hill for Gandalf! (I feel like I've probably heard this before, but anyway.)

They filmed a flashback to Aragorn and Arwen's first meeting?! Viggo shaved to make himself look younger, and it was a scene of the two of them "frolicking about the forest." It was originally going to be put in the Lothlorien sequence, but they cut it out in favor of that scene between Aragorn and Boromir, because they decided it was more important to earn Boromir's death scene than to remind the audience of the romance. I agree with that decision, but it would be cool to see that footage! (I say as someone who prefers to skip the TTT Aragorn/Arwen scene entirely XD)

Originally, the warg battle was going to happen at Edoras itself. It was going to be at night, everything was going to be on fire, and ultimately that was going to be the reason everyone evacuated and went to Helm's Deep. Also, a warg was going to be set on fire and end up dragging Aragorn through the streets, and that was going to be how Aragorn would be left for dead. Ultimately, the reason they did it the way they did was because the studio wasn't sure Weta could do a flaming warg (something all three of them laughed about, considering everything Weta did manage to do with flying colors), and because it would have been a nightmare to light the Edoras set at night, because that location was so remote and so windy. Which is why every scene in Edoras takes place in the daytime!

In the scene where Faramir talks about his dream where he saw Boromir in the boat, you can see a sort of pinkish color in the water around Boromir's body. That's because the dye from his shirt (surcoat? idk) was leaking out into the water! XD

When Andy Serkis did ADR for the Forbidden Pool scene, he couldn't manage to sing the song off-key, so they had to use the audio from the motion capture footage XD

They shot some additional footage of Aragorn unconscious on Brego's back, riding past an orc encampment, that they never ended up using.

Theoden was originally going to give a speech to the soldiers in the armory, but Bernard Hill's performance was so inspiring that it defused most of the tension they were trying to build up before the battle, so they took it out. Would love to see that footage!

So the boy Aragorn encourages before the battle ("There is always hope.") was Philippa Boyens' son, who was 13 when they filmed the scene. But by the time they went to do ADR, his voice had broken, so they had to get a different child actor to say his lines.

Aww, the extra who was missing an eye said he always felt self-conscious about his missing eye, so he always wore an eyepatch. But then after they gave him a close-up and the guy saw the movie, he said he felt much better about his appearance! :')

Treebeard's line "I always like going south; it feels like going downhill" was ad-libbed!

When Saruman turns and reacts to all the water pouring in and washing his machinery away, that shot was actually a reaction shot to Wormtongue on top of the tower from the RotK movie that they repurposed for this scene instead, since they hadn't shot any reactions to the flood.

At least at the time of the recording of this audio commentary, the final shot of Gollum, where he's arguing with himself and ultimately decides to lead Frodo and Sam to Shelob, was the longest CG shot in any movie. (I tried to google what the current record is, but couldn't find anything, so if anyone knows, I'd love to hear about it!)

Fran Walsh: "All cinema storytelling, to a degree, is shallow. That's the nature of the medium. You've got two or three hours to present a world and a dense story with a hundred themes and a ton of backstory, in this instance, and 22 characters...so you can only really have the veneer of depth. You really can't have anything that comes close to the depth of the books, or the experience of the books. So I think what we attempted to do was to use the language of the books where we could and to certainly invoke them, the iconic images, where we could, but to keep the storytelling very much...to modernize it, if you like, in terms of cinema language. So we didn't, for example, use the style of storytelling that was in the books between these different after-the-fact storytelling, of Sam and Frodo and then a chunk of the Aragorn story. We completely undercut it. That was a far more immediate and engaging way to connect it to the audience. You can't really hope to satisfy people who adore this book, with the movie. You can only ever give them the sense of what might have been. That's all a film can do. I think, in that sense, films...I mean, they're entertainments. They're just not going to give you the pleasure that a book can give you."

[humanrindswrites]

scary movie

pairing: kirk hammett x female reader

summary: kirk's girl is a hardened horror veteran, just like him, but even veterans have their limits.

warnings: fluff, mentions of gore (they’re watching horror movies)

word count: 859 words

a/n: little factoid about me is that i love really gory movies but sexual violence is where my tolerance for extremity ends. also, if you've never seen cannibal holocaust just know that it has real scenes of animals being killed just for the sake of it. it's not a movie for the faint-hearted.

“So, what did you say this movie was called again?” Kirk asked as his girlfriend set up the VCR in the living room.

“Cannibal Holocaust,” she said once the machine was turned on and ready for the tape. “It got banned in England recently and the director got arrested in Italy because they thought he actually killed the actors.”

“Sounds gnarly,” he said as he took the videotape box from her. “Everything gets banned in England these days.”

“That’s true, they’d probably ban a movie because somebody got a paper cut.”

When Kirk first saw her in the video rental store, he thought maybe she was a beginner looking for something tame to watch with friends and could maybe find something that would get her jumping into his arms like a little lamb. Instead, he found out that she was just as much an expert as he was and liked her movies gory and borderline upsetting.

It was pretty much love at first sight for him.

She had her finger on the pulse for all the wild new movies coming from Europe and which ones were getting banned in Europe for being ‘harmful to children’ or some other ridiculous shit that some old people were saying. He was more versed in the classics but finding these scandalous new videos was something that he never really had the time to do anymore.

They made popcorn in the kitchen while the trailers played at the beginning of the tape, making it back just in time for the movie to start. The screen showed a beautiful sweeping shot of the Amazon rainforest set to a lush orchestral score, as if it was a nature documentary or a romance, lulling them into false security of what was to come.

When she’d originally told him that the movie was a nasty one, Kirk thought that she was just exaggerating. He’d seen some gory movies before but they’d never been as grisly and realistic as this. The two of them watched in stunned silence as people were killed, raped, beaten, and animals were slaughtered before their very eyes.

The videotape’s quality added to the horrifying visuals before them, making the carnage so much more disturbing than it likely was; the poor turtle’s exposed innards were spread across the screen as the eerie soundtrack screeched. Kirk had never expected her to jump into his arms during a movie, but he could feel her tense up and her fingers curl into fists against his chest with every brutal blow.

But no matter how extreme the scenes became, neither one of them could take their eyes away from the screen. Blood was spilt, brains were exposed, bodies were hacked to pieces, women were raped, and people were eaten. She’d promised Kirk a gnarly time and that was exactly what they’d gotten.

I wonder who the real cannibals are, the television said before the camera swept up into the New York City skyline and the credits rolled. They were both quiet until the tape stopped and Kirk picked up the remote from next to him to turn it off.

“You feeling okay?” he asked her. She usually had something to say once the movie had finished, but this time she was stunned into silence. “Hey, it’s only a movie.”

“I didn’t think they were going to kill real animals,” she said, her voice quiet. “I knew it was going to be gruesome, but nobody told me they killed the animals.”

“Aside from that, did you like the rest of the movie?” Kirk asked as he ran his hand up and down her arm.

“I don’t know. It’s something I need to think about. But I know I don’t want to watch it again.

“It wasn’t a Frankenstein flick, that’s for sure.”

“Nobody got raped in any version of Frankenstein as far as I remember.”

“Did you not like that part either?”

“No,” she said, a little louder than she’d intended. “I hate seeing girls get raped in movies. It’s why I hated The Last House on the Left.”

“Mm, that one was intense.”

“At least all of that was fake, not like this,” she said as she sat up and went over to take the videotape out of the VCR. “No wonder it got banned.”

“Are you saying you support movie censorship?” Kirk teased and stood up to help her clear away the dishes that had accumulated on the coffee table.

“I’m not saying that,” she said and playfully slapped him on the arm. “I’m just saying that I can see why people had such a strong reaction to it.”

“Maybe next week I’ll pick the movie so that we don’t watch poor turtles die.”

“What’d you have in mind?”

Kirk took her in his arms and thought for a second, humming in her ear and tapping his fingers on her shoulders for comedic effect.

“How about I Spit on Your Grave?”

“Okay, now you’re just teasing me,” she said as she broke out of his arms and took the dishes into the kitchen.

“Hey, you’re the one who always picks the hardcore stuff, I thought you’d like it!”

[therobotmonster]

A Baffling Tribute to 80s Music Video Weirdness

The music video was more than just a great way to advertise your band, it was a way to do something weird as hell that would stick in your audience's mind and give a director or team of animators a chance to really stretch their legs.

Yeah, we'll be hitting some classics you knew, but hey, here's that song from Ferris Beuller's Day Off and about a dozen other movies, TV shows, and food commercials.

Turns out the song is about the beauty of nature, and "Yello" isn't even a reference to the color, but is rather "A Yelled Hello". This is, from what I've gathered, pretty standard for a Swiss Electronic Music group.

Untapped potential for the indie horror genre in Herbie Hancock's "Rock it" with whole new fields of strange animatronics.

Strange abstract costumed characters interacting in a song that makes a lot more sense with the original uncensored lyric "when I was a very small boy, very small boys talked to me, now that we've grown up together, they're all taking drugs with me."

TMBG would be a huge selection of weird music videos if I let them, so we'll focus just on Istanbul (Not Constantinople). TMBG had a policy of the videos never really having anything to do with the song lyrics, and every one is a weird surprise because of it.

You are commanded to enjoy.

The Talking Heads also had a lot of weird videos, and while everyone would expect Burning Down the House, I like Road to Nowhere better. Enjoy.

I saw this on an AlTV special, and could never find it because there's a lot of songs with this name, and Hilly Michaels isn't well known.

It's a sort of colored pencil rotoscoped animation thing and it's just perfect.

Oh hey guys, is this really necessary, can't we leave the deli tray out and split out of here?

TOO LATE! I'm posting Gor-Gor by GWAR. If I had to have my mind blown at 2am on Headbanger's ball at a sleepover at my cousin's place, you can have yours blown on the tumblr.dot.com in the year of your lord 2024.

Is Devo cheating? I feel like it might be.

Cyndi Lauper made great videos, but for absolute mind bending oddness, the Goonies tie-in video "Goonies R Good Enough" qualifies on the basis of the 2:15 minute mini-movie featuring Cyndi Lauper, her real life dad Captain Lou Albano, and a host of (at the time) WWF wrestlers that frames the video with Rick Flair trying to foreclose on the family gas station.

The music video ends on a cliffhanger. To this day no one knows how Cyndi got out of that mess. Someone rescued her. Moe, lets say.

I believe this is the Avant-Garde, and it does apear they never give up.

Curses, the ten video limit is hit! I may return soon!

[bettsfic]

i can't stay quiet about this anymore. for weeks now i've thought, noo i won't write about knights of the zodiac on my blog. nobody cares. BUT it is the weirdest fucking movie i've ever seen and i need to tell you about it.

knights of the zodiac is an american made live action adaptation of the anime/manga saint seiya. before this film, i'd never even heard of it, but that doesn't matter, because i watched an interview with mackenyu (who plays seiya) who said that the director told him not to bother watching the anime or reading the manga, because he wanted this movie to be its own thing. you know, which is always a great way to bring in your core audience.

with that said, i'm viewing this film entirely on its own merit, with no context of the source material. so saint seiya fans may not want to read this.

the movie came out this past may. i was excited about it for no other reason than mackenyu starring in an american action movie. i'm honestly a little surprised people weren't more jazzed about that. there aren't a lot of japanese actors starring in big budget american action movies.

other cast members include sean bean (who, spoiler alert, dies), famke janssen, and mark dacascos. in case you don't recognize those names, they are, respectively, boromir/ned stark, jean grey from x-men, and the iron chef. if nothing else, i think it's worth watching for the utterly bizarre casting.

the premise, sort of: mackenyu, who appears to be contractually obligated to play angsty younger brother characters (i think this is the 7th thing i've seen him in where he is an angsty younger brother), has an older sister who is missing. he's a poor orphan boy who gets by on winning cage fights. or something. so boromir finds him and tells him he's destined to be athena's bodyguard, and he gets on board with this alarmingly fast, but not after antagonizing athena (who is not yet athena) and throwing out some snarky one-liners. he trains in the middle of nowhere with a masked lady who repeatedly kicks his ass, and he never changes clothes the entire time. there's other stuff too but it's secondary to the absolute batshittery of this movie.

i saw it on premiere night, which was also the premiere night of the new guardians of the galaxy movie. again, A+ move by the promotional team. so there i was on a saturday at 7pm. prime movie going time. and my best friend and i were the only ones in the theater.

although i had no real expectations for this movie beyond Mackenyu Hits Things And Is Sad, i believed one of two things would happen: it would be as terrible as it sounded, or it would actually be phenomenal. but no, it was neither bad, nor good, but a secret third thing: it scratched a deep and rabid part of my id.

and by that i mean, it appeared to be a very high budget love letter to glaringly submissive men.

here's my letterboxd review that i wrote in the brief hypomanic episode succeeding my initial viewing:

okay so first and most importantly, this scene made me actually scream:

it's a joke line, sure, but 1) he definitely means it, and 2) he immediately calls her "princess," which if you've ever read my fic, you'll know that that's a one-hit KO for me.

(putting this under a cut because it's already long)

you see how athena is framed above seiya? that is one of approximately 1000 shots where this occurs. to every male character. at one point, mackenyu perches gingerly on the back of athena's motorcycle. in fact the only male character who attempts to be dominant aggressive and toxically masculine becomes the punching bag of the film.

in the beginning, seiya is in a cage match where people are getting angry at him for "dancing," which means he doesn't fight so much as avoids getting hit and looks pretty doing it. a solid third of the movie involves a very large lady beating the crap out of him. the premise of the film is getting him to devote his entire life to a goddess and obey protect her at all costs.

i'm probably the only one who watched this movie and was like, hmm is this kink coded? am i insane for seeing this? usually when i think of kink coding i think of quentin tarantino's foot fetish, these long gaudy shots of women's feet hanging out of car windows. it's in the imagery and shot composition and power dynamics.

here, the imagery is a lot of kneeling men, the shot compositions repeatedly place the men lower than the women, and the power dynamics are simply that the women have all the power, and the men have a little, as a treat. jean grey is a straight-up femdom, leather and all.

by the end of the climax, seiya is naked, having been stripped of his (magical and very powerful) armor as pre-athena becomes athena and uh, blasts his clothes off in the process. there's probably something to be said there about, you know, literally stripping him of his power.

i think what i find particularly remarkable about this is that the repeated feminization of the male lead is treated as a good thing. a self-actualizing thing. it's the process through which he accepts himself and his destiny. that's the reason i say it's a love letter--i've known a lot of submissive men and many of them really struggle to accept that part of themselves. i had a friend once who was so ashamed of himself--not just that he was submissive, but that submission was an integral part of his identity--that he had a breakdown in my car over it. so i think it's nice seeing a vaguely positive portrayal of finding oneself through (textually) devotion and (subtextually) submission.

god help me, seiya spends the entire film being irritating and bratty. this movie is my personal kryptonite.

don't get me wrong, it's a terrible movie. the writing is awful, the direction is awful, and if it gets a second film, i'll be shocked. it received a 1.9 (out of 5) on letterboxd and a 4.4 (out of 10) on imdb.

but i've also always been a lover of the star wars prequels (and oh boy there's a lot to be said there about submissive men) and so my patience for bad writing is infinite in the face of interesting things happening on a character level. in a world of disneyfied stock plots and bloated marvel franchises, i appreciate when a movie tries to do something different, even if it doesn't do it very well.

anyway, i can't in good conscience recommend it, but i for one plan to watch it at least a hundred more times.

[littledigits]

That time when working in animation made me realize I needed therapy

Since we're on the topic of overworking / being passionate in animation and blah blah blah.  I want to share my story about working on the first season of Hilda (for context I was the animation director), specifically..how completely garbo my mental health got because 

I INSISTED ON WORKING MYSELF INTO THE GROUND. 

This is a story I've shared when I've had a chance to do lectures or talks, and if there is one really awesome thing that comes with ..weird ..animation clout, its that you can use those powers for good in terms of teaching people about the BS that comes with the job...anyway.

The reason why I like to talk about this is because I insisted on doing it to myself, and that was really got me thinking about the factors that do lead us into over working. Because heres the deal

Hilda season 1 was, without getting into too many details, a heckofatime...especally for the core crew. we were a small group, doing something new because most of us haven't worked on a show before that included pre production. My entire career up to that point had been working on service work for shows that were created in Burbank, so the new pipeline had a ton of challenges. We did all care, and we all believed in the project SOOOO much. I would tell people not to work over time, because I want my team to leave on time - but I was there...a lot. Leaving the studio by 11pm , working through the weekends..it wasnt an uncommon thing for me. sure , it wasnt all the time, but this stuff spans years sometimes so it went in waves. But whenever the challenges came up, i doubled down. because I super believed in it.

  And the thing was - other people told me to stop. I had a lot of valid concerns given to me by my friends and team members who saw how I was burning myself out at both ends. And I thought like, well , its my *choice*.  Its my chance to have a voice and be creative and try to do something different and we all have to push ourselves and yes its HARD but. THATS HOW YOU DO IT RIGHT? surely if I just make sure I’m the one overworking and my team isn't.. that's fine. 

Well, no, I was immensely effecting my team maybe I wasn’t telling them to work late, but they were seeing me get more and more tired and stay later and later.  I thought they would still approach me for help, or if they struggled. But the issues they had they kept to themselves without wanting to put more on my shoulders. Because they *cared* , just as much as I did ..and we all took more on our shoulders then we should have and there were a lot of things that I could have solved had I fostered a better communication environment.  I became really resentful in my head over the smallest things, I actually saw myself becoming a more hateful person and easily annoyed. I came home every day rambling about the frustrations. Now, let me preface this by saying - my mental state did not only have to do with overworking. I had and have things still to unpack, but the control I had over work and the validation I got from it was a coping mechanism for me. I really didnt think i had any worth as a person outside of this job. It basically was a very nasty cycle that didnt stop until ...well I had gotten so bad I had to.  By the end of the first season I was actually incredibly close to quitting . I was in big anxiety attack territory because I was so worn thin- I had started therapy but eventually moved onto getting medication as well and that was what allowed me to stick it out. ( I have the same therapist and I am on the same meds, it was very hard to do at the time, but i cant imagine my life now without making that choice ). After it was done I was immensely supported by the studio and worked part time as a trainer, which is what i requested to give my brain a break. (Only a few of my closer friends knew how bad I was getting but it was pretty obvious I needed to rest) I'm really proud of the work we did and we keep doing on the show, ..and some other people may have gone through something similar and found it was worth it, but thats not me. I still struggle not to fall back into that mindset, but it helps knowing that if i keep myself out of it , i can help my team out of it, because I know they care about this show just as much as I do. I’m not a martyr, I am a leader, and its up to me to keep myself healthy so I can keep my crew healthy.   I always strive to be better, but i get to decide what that looks like - and for me ..better has nothing to do with the image on the screen. Its got more to do with the experience of the people around me. Readjusting those priorities has helped a lot with keeping my head above water and not add to the pressure that makes it so hard not to get sucked down in the first place.  I do think its good to talk about though , how our passion and language and drive can lead to a lot of us being a part of this cycle. And if theres one good thing about the challenges, its sharing them so at least others can learn faster then you did ;) . take care of yourself friends.